Declaration of War

This is my decree against the logical and ever so helpful Gulfline. Such a formidable foe as he cannot dismiss my praise so lightly, fore I'd be surprised if ever he has received such compliments such as that.

This letter is therefore written as a peace-offering sprinkled with bitterness and a dash of disdain. 'Tis true, Gulfline, that you have angered commoners such as I more often than naught and tonight shall be the last of your horrid behavior. I shall whip thee into submission with my awesome prowess and, if I may say so, I will make you my bitch.

Take this as a warning, judicious and supreme Gulfline, for I am not one to mess with. If tonight's activities go unrequited, I will hunt you down and kill you and rape your woman who is so elegantly named FGCU. This letter is short, sweet, and to the point, so as not to confuse you since your brain capacity is so minuscule that a few students trying to access your wares will send you into a spiraling frenzy of failure. This failure is so horrendous that those of lesser IQs and of fail cannot fathom how you have existed this way without being smited or lynched.

I am aware that tonight is the ever hailed night of Halloween, but your chicanery better not pursue into the wee hours of the first. If this should be the case, I will punish you as previously stated in this excerpt. Learn thy lesson well for I shall not be so benevolent when you cross me incorrectly.

I bite my thumb at you, Gulfline.

You shall be my bitch tonight at midnight and you WILL like it.

hi :P

MAJOR PIC SPAM!

^^ wtf pringles?!?!











I'm kind of obsessed with Pikachu! =] I bet you found at least one picture you liked!

Long Winded Spiel

^ I put this picture up for a plethora of reasons, getting into my whole "beliefs" since I never actually said specifically any beliefs I do have.

Well, I'm very open when it comes to relationships. Not in a weird, "let's all get married to each other!!", but more of a "people like other people and it's not really their fault." I don't judge people for being in a same-gender relationship any moreso than I do for people who go into a trans-gender relationship. Saying it like that, it sounds like heterosexual relationships involve transvestites..

Either way, this belief has nothing to do with how I was raised, since if that were the case, I'd be burning people and just doing a lot of hateful, violent crime. It was more of something I learned by myself and came to appreciate. The world is a tough place to be in, especially if you're alone and then doubly so if you're of a "weird" sexual orientation. The world hasn't wholly accepted homosexuals and they are painted in a strange light. Research is being done to figure out why people are their specific orientation, thinking maybe a gene causes or something else.

I think the reason why people are homosexual is because they just are. There's no "genetic defect" that turns out gay babies. It's normal and definitely not something people should be ostracized for. Maybe I'm biased, because as I discussed with Ricky today, I find guy/guy relationships interesting. Girl/Girl relationships mostly piss me off, because of the connotations in that, but it's not my cup of tea regardless.

Preferences aside, I don't think its a crime to want to have someone there that loves you and you have those feelings back for them. There's nothing wrong with love or loving. I hate that homosexual relationships are written off as immoral or bizarre. I think there is no problem with someone having deep, passionate feelings for the same gender.

On the same coin, however, I don't think marriage should be allowed for them. *Cue the traitor sticks to fly in*

It's really strange, but I'm okay with everything else that accompanies that sort of lifestyle, except the want to marry. This is mostly a religious conflict, because God knows everything has to be in this life. I'm relatively open-minded about some pretty radical things, but marriage encompassing all relationships kind of makes me retreat into my mind cave and refuse to crawl out.

I know children raised in that sort of dad/dad or mom/mom relationship aren't negatively affected; if they are its probably more due to the fact they'll be ridiculed. This growing portion of our population that reigns in for their own team wants marriage for financial benefits, legal issues, and maybe for love. I'm not opposed to them living together or acting like they are conjoined, but marriage is a religious founded event. I'm not saying God hates gays - on the contrary, I think he loves everyone just the same. My problem lies in the fact that most people who even want to consider marriage, gay or straight alike, don't marry for religious reasons as well as love. The point to me of marriage is to ground yourself with someone with similar beliefs so you can grow together in your faith.

I sound like I'm back at Verot in Burbs's religion class. But that to me is the point of marriage. You found someone you want to commit to for the rest of your life; they make you into a better person spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. The spiritual aspect for me is a big portion of marriage and it gets lost on all orientations when they want to get married. I'm not so supremely Catholic that I'd only marry within my religion, but I'd want my kids to have some sort of religious foundation, because that's like a column. I feel like religion is not necessary to grow into an outstanding citizen, but I definitely think religion makes for a good foundation. Most people falter when they don't believe in a higher power - others blossom into their own unique individual preferring to believe in the flying spaghetti monster or praising Bob Marley as God.

My stance on so many issues is so complicated and dependent on the circumstances. This is why I don't discuss my beliefs, because I don't even know where I'm going with this. I guess as a final note I will say this: I feel like more states should provide homosexual relationships the means of getting "married" but not getting the title that goes along with it. I forget what it's called specifically, but I think it's a start and may lead to more changes should society finally deem it to be appropro.

BAM! =P

"When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So what the hell, leap." (Cynthia Heimel in "Lower Manhattan Survival Tactics")

I'm in the Business of Misery

I'm thinking of doing a massive compilation of lyrics and forming a poem with it - I think it'd be pretty cool and I'm not really reading anything to make a found poem. God, I miss Elmeer's class where we got fun assignments like that =P

I don't know why I've been in a creative slump, but it's been horrible. I was dishing out poems like it was nobody's business a couple months ago - I can only blame recent events and college for this, because I don't have any other excuses to use. It's probably just because my mind is failing and music seems to say everything I'd ever want to say or everything I would ever write down. That, and other more creative people completely pwn at what they do, making me more artistically timid I guess I should say.

I'd like to do an Emily Dickinson style thing where I write down words or phrases that pop up in my mind randomly, however I think that'd end up being entirely too random to put into poem form. With so many options and routes to go down, poetry is such a beach. I have all this time to do something creative, but even then I just end up procrastinating =/

Life needs to calm down and let me breathe a little. And let me write some poetry. That'd be nice. All I want for Christmas is some relaxation, some paper, and sleep ♥

"Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine." (Robert C. Gallagher)

Yup..

DAY NINE: YOUR BELIEFS.

This is such a broad question that I don't think I can succinctly answer it entirely.

I have firm beliefs on religion, abortion, war, and what the definition of love is, but I'm not sure where to begin or even if I should. Beliefs, especially since mine are stubborn ones, often incite arguments and debates, neither of which am I particularly fond of. I don't enjoy arguing or debating my case, although I seem to do it quite frequently. I see myself as being in the right all of the time, not because I don't see the other side of the coin, but because my side of the coin makes more sense, common or otherwise.

Since a previous 30 day challenge blog was about my definition of love, I really don't know where I want to go with this. I'm not the kind of person to force my beliefs onto others, but if I hear an opposing view, I kind of look at that person differently. It's kind of like an inner montage in my brain that says, "Oh, that kid likes murdering dogs. He must be a huge jerk." The person might be a nice guy who, for what ever reason, enjoys slaughtering dogs, but I'll always remember he's nothing but a dog hater. It's not very fair to those I judge, but I try to get a more substantial background before I'm close-minded about their lack of soul.

I think I do horribly on these blogs, just because I don't wanna come right out and say what I do believe in aside from the obvious personal things someone would come into contact with since knowing me. I'm not too crazy about politics, so I don't keep up with it enough to have that be a part of my repertoire; this is a big reason why I don't want to shout out my political beliefs, because A) I know nothing and B) what if someone were to judge me like I do other people? Beliefs are really tricky and I think I make them more difficult than they have to be. It's just that I'm aware everyone thinks differently than I do, so I see no point in expressing my beliefs just to earn ridicule.

I'm pretty sure Jesus warned you about the kind of person I am. I'm just not that comfortable talking about debatable things, I swear...

"Biology says that we are who we are from birth, that our DNA is set in stone. Unchangeable. Our DNA doesn’t account for all of us though; we’re human. Life changes us. We develop new traits, become less territorial. We start competing. We learn from our mistakes. We face our greatest fears. For better or for worse, we find ways to become more than our biology. The risk of course is that we can change too much to the point where we don’t recognize ourselves. Finding our way back can be difficult. There’s no compass, no map. We just have to close our eyes, take a step, and hope to God we get there." (Grey's Anatomy)

A Grain of Truth

I'm so tired of so many things going on in my life now that I've just decided to stop caring and just act like a stereotypical girl. I will dress how I want even if it worries or stresses some people out and I will act however I wanna act. It's my life and I'm so sick of having to live like I'm actually Amish, like you so eloquently said I was one day.

I'm tired of tip-toeing around certain subjects that bother people and being afraid to be honest about the cold, hard truths. If you can't or won't do me the courtesy of being honest with me, I won't do the same for you or I'll be so brutally honest, you'll wish I just lied instead. I'm tired of doing all these things with other people in mind and not being given the same treatment back.

I'm tired of being your doormat that you created for yourself. I'm brushing it off and just being me. If you don't like it, I suggest you go elsewhere and cause someone else havoc.

"And you asked me if he was worth it, if this was worth it. I said, the thing is, the happiness that I feel when I'm with him is unlike any happiness I have ever experienced. But the sadness that consumes me during the long periods when the happiness is gone is unlike any sadness I've ever had, too. it is bottomless and makes me feel hopeless and sad and ugly. And I can't decide which one is more affecting, Can I live without the happiness, can I live with the sadness? I don't know, I don't know anything anymore." (Some quote I found on the Internet)

I don't deserve this

Won't be able to post later on, so I'm just posting this for now.

DID YOU KNOW THAT...

I'm kind of sorta obsessed with Nietzsche quotes. I would love to find his novel called Gay Science or something to that effect. I'm sure you can figure out why I haven't asked my parents to hunt down the book for me.. No offense to homosexuals.

I got glasses today that are super magnified and I really question why I have them. I just wore them for maybe 20 minutes and my eyes are acting super trippy now. I have a feeling eye cocaine is laced onto the lenses or some hallucinatory drug, since that would make more sense.

I zumba-ed tonight wearing Ricky's kungfu outfit and I was sweating like crazy, because I wore it buttoned up when it was a long sleeve shirt. True, the sleeves were rolled up, but it was incredibly thick material that I couldn't help but drenching with my body's pathetic attempt at cooling itself.

There is a portion on my arm that hurts when I apply pressure to it. This is no ordinary pain though, because this is a sharp nerve pinch due to the fact I'm unable to sit in a normal fashion when I'm surfing the internet.

Now, I suffer with my gimp arm and my dumb eyes. On the plus side, I had Chick-fil-A tonight for dinner and it was delicious. Be jealous.

The eating out thing is probably why I haven't actually lost weight, but you know what, I don't care. Well, I actually do, since that was the whole point of doing exercise-related activity. However, I love food and have impeccable taste that cannot be fully quenched with home cooked meals. Clearly, I've made the right decision to at least partially exercise, although you'd think I would lose weight since I've maintained the same body weight since high school.. my body is so dumb.

I'm incredibly tired and it's upsetting me that I need to go to sleep so early. There's so many activities I wish I could do or have the will to do.

I have a book report due in like less than a month on a book I have barely started. Although I know this, I cannot bring myself to read it. It's actually quite sad, because I got to pick the book I could read for said book report and I still can't summon the strength to actually read it. Curse college for my intense apathy for school work unless it's due within a week.

NOW YOU KNOWWWWW!!!!!!

Lesson For Today

abuse is not okay.

N/A

"We’re liars. Think about it: why do people buy these things? It’s not because they want to say how they feel, people buy cards because they can’t say how they feel or they’re afraid to. We provide the service that lets them off the hook. You know what? I say to hell with it. Lets level with America. Or at least let them speak for themselves, right? I mean, what does this say? “Congratulations on your new baby” how about “Congratulations on your new baby, guess that’s it for hanging out? Nice knowing ya”. How about this one with all the pretty hearts? I think I know where this one’s going, “Happy Valentine’s Day sweetheart, I love you” That’s sweet. Ain’t love grand? This is exactly what I’m talking about. What does that even mean; love? Do you know? If somebody gave me this card, I would eat it. It’s these cards, and the movies and the pop songs – they're to blame for all the lies and the heartache, everything. And we’re responsible; I’m responsible. I think we do a bad thing here. People should be able to say how they feel- how they really feel; not you know, some words that some strangers put in their mouths, like love, that don’t mean anything." ( (500) Days of Summer)

Merry Christmas! =]

DAY EIGHT: A MOMENT.

When I was little, I often spent time with my grandparents, affectionately known as Mom and Pap Pap. When I was in 3rd or 4th grade, Mom (the aforementioned Mom) took me on a hunt to retrieve a solitary Christmas tree branch in order to mail it to Uncle Paul - or maybe it was Uncle John... Either way, it was a super important mission and I was excited, because the thought of Christmas, even way back then, made me exorbitantly happy. When we arrived on the site of the Christmas tree vendor, we realized that they were closed for some reason. Since we traveled all of only 5 minutes away from the house, instead of going back, Mom decided to coax me to jump the fence and retrieve a branch I deemed acceptable.

Bear in mind, this Christmas tree vendor was in the middle of a field, fenced off, and on the main road that is Hancock Bridge Parkway. Mom, my sweet grandma, wanted me to break the law, which at the time and moment was a big deal for me, because I was terrified of going to jail. She had to help me get over the fence, but once over, I ran towards the tent and searched for a tree I liked. The trees were all sappy and obviously shedding while I attempted to tear off a branch. After what felt like an eternity, I rushed towards Mom with this branch in my hand with a wide happy grin on my face. Mom praised me for being so good and getting her a branch. I was so elated with praise that the illegal activity and the adrenaline kick delayed my reaction to the sticky sap and ants crawling all over my hands. It wasn't until I got back in the car that I fully realized the consequences for my actions; I had to deal with the sap and ants nipping at me the entire 5 minute ride back home, which didn't feel long getting to the tent, but going back felt like hours away.

As Mom helped me clean my hands and rubbed ointment on them, she kept telling me that I saved Christmas for my Uncle. It's always been a tradition for Mom to send him a Christmas tree branch as a way of bringing Christmas to him when he's away from the family. Looking back, I question why no one was at the tent during mid afternoon and how no one felt the need to tell us we weren't supposed to be snooping around in there. If I wasn't a young child, I would have taken a whole tree if I could have. However, at the same, my narrow mind could only handle one task: saving Christmas with a single branch of pine.

C'est La Vie

I have so much respect for artists that create something like this ^. It's amazing to look at and I wish I could have it hanging on my wall. With great admiration for it comes some jealousy though, because I wish I was gifted in that way to be able to create something with my hands. It's empowering to think about when you really look at how an artist carries themselves and their brush - it's like symmetry; it's effortless yet painstaking all at the same time. They embrace their craft as if it was their own child, treating each painting or portrait as its own separate entity to be equally admired. Such passion and drive for a single painting can't really be bought at an auction or department store - an artist gives a piece of themselves with each stroke, a heart beat without a sound but a pulse none the less. It's amazing and it speaks to you when you find the painting. It's kind of like a friend that you find in an entirely new situation and you wonder why you haven't met sooner. Yeah, it's like that. I wish I could make people feel that emotion.

"I love surprises and coincidences. I love them even more when I don't pass them off as luck, but rather recognize them as a sign that my life's course is right on track." (Jason Mraz)

Letter to a Bitter Frenemy

Dear College,

Hi. We've met several times, seeing as how I attend you. Ricky, do not be alarmed, although I'm sure you're not, since you've convinced yourself of so many other untrue things involving me, Tito, and Travis. Not necessarily all of us together.. well, now that you've thought about that, let's continue forth with the actual intent behind this letter.

I have a qualm with your system, dear College. You have so graciously given us students a day off on Monday for mysterious reasons that can only be explained through Mother Nature's benevolence as well as the grace of God. This is all well and dandy, however, you have made one grave mistake. You put Thursday classes on Tuesday while still having Thursday classes on Thursday, which confuses everyone and causes us to question you. Why would you do such a thing? Do you realize I have an 8 am lab on Thursday that requires a copious amount of homework to be done? Surely, this was a mistake, because some of my colleagues have no classes on Thursday, which means no classes on Tuesday. Do you see the faulty foundation you have served? You have disserviced Travis from his education and I'm pretty sure that's illegal among other things such as unfair to those of us who treasure every second of collegiate life.

I know that you are not normally this much like a curmudgeon and I can't help but feel like you are tired of people walking all over you. I wouldn't like it either. I'm sure the sorority girls' maniacal cackling in the hallways drives you bonkers and this is your form of divine punishment. It seems a tad misaligned though, seeing as how I am not a dumb broad. I'm a smart one, so you cannot pull the wool over my eyes.

With this upcoming Monday off, I shall be spending about 4 hours attempting to do homework for classes which you decided to pile onto my plate two days early without first consulting me. Does this sound like a day off to you? It doesn't to me, so I just wanted clarification. Maybe next time in the near future, we will learn from our mistakes and plan accordingly...

I'm looking at you, FGCU.

Your humble denizen,
Jessica

HOLY BASEBALLS!

I may start carrying around a mini notebook so I can write down witty phrases and eventually compile another poem. I'm so tired of thinking of phrases when I'm in my "almost sleeping" state, because I'm too lazy to get up to write it down. Then, I think I'll end up remembering it if I say it while I'm in that sleeping state, but I never remember it. I go into a constant spin cycle of this whenever inspiration taps me on the shoulder - I'm probably horrible to approach if I'm not expecting you to be there...

"I'm not taking the necklace off for this outfit!" (Ricky)

substitution

um... Hi everyone this is Jessica's boyfriend Ricky, she is feeling a tad under the weather today so I'm covering for her. She has really bad cold that she caught from either me or her roommate Natalie, most likely it was from me. I'm not much of a story teller but here is an overview of today and me trying to take care of Jess, who is a very stubborn patient.

Today we decided to go to Panera Bread for lunch since that was one of the few places we could think of that had soup! While we were there Jess discovered that they had messed up her order and given her chips instead of french bread! soooo I was too the rescue snatching up the chips and confronting the Panera people about the missing bread! they were so afraid of my might that they not only gave up the bread but also gave me the chips too! I returned the conquering hero!

Later that day we went to target. while in target Jess realized that she didn't have any tissues to blow her nose with! soo I was too the rescue again! this time though I was so dumbfounded and caught up gazing at Jess who was looking at jewelry that I walked into the door! after the brief period of disorientation I rushed out to the car to rescue the tissues!

later later that day, we went for ice at Dairy Queen. Upon pulling up to the drive through we heard the talking voice box thing say with a male voice "wel... Hurp Durp"-pause for about 1 or 2 minutes. A female voice then starts talking to us laughing as she goes. later that night Jess googled hurp durp and found out that it was a sexually transmitted disease. You should look up hurp durp on urbandictionary.com!

We then stopped and rented the movie employee of the month with Dane Cook. It was really funny and is a good rent I recommend it! we then returned the movie at like 940!

overall it was a good day despite Jess being sick and despite the fact I am not the best nurse, Im no Gaylord.. I really hope she feels better!

Do you know what's missing in today's society?

Romance.

In the simplest, purest sense, I feel like romance and chivalry are dead. Now, this is mostly due to the Fem!Nazis that rampage about "women's rights" and what not, but what about the women who don't really care about the stereotypes? Why do we have to suffer just because you flip a desk when a guy opens a door for you and lets you go through first? A little chivalry goes a long way in this day and age when Jersey Shore is penetrating the news and Eminem is rapping about abusive relationships like it's the best type of relationship.

I will never chastise someone because they do things for me, due to my gender or otherwise. If you feel compelled to hold a door open for me, I will politely thank you and go about my way. I am in no way saying that because you held the door open for me, I will do some sexual favor for you. Chivalry doesn't work that way. Well, at least not the chivalry I wish was in society more..

Ever since I was a wee lass, I was in love with Nsync and Backstreet Boys' music. Obsession didn't cut it. I pictured in my mind the perfect guy who would one day serenade me with that type of music, the kind that's gushing with such artificial flavor you can't help but savor it because it tastes real. I wanted that my whole life. I even pictured and would have dreams about how I would want the moment to go. Of course, I played the role of the male, because I knew it had to be exactly done the way I wanted it with the sweet sappy romance oozing out of every word sung.

As I grew older and wised up to how guys really were/are, I will be the first to admit I was severely disappointed. Had movies and television been incorrect this whole time? Where was the guys singing their affections towards their girl and why aren't guys the romantics you see in all the movies? Why are guys so crude and disrespectful towards women?

Disney nor my musical taste when I was younger had prepared me for this reality.

On my drive home, I severely contemplated how I would act if I were a boy to see if I would act like a jerk, a liar, etc. I realized since I'm not aware of how it feels to be a guy, that my closest assumption would be I would be the same just have different reproductive abilities. I mean, my chest isn't THAT voluptuous that I haven't seen my guy-ish features, like my broad shoulders and height, before. I would be a sort of host. Now before we start getting confused and Googling what I mean, in my definition a host is a guy who tries to make all girls feel welcome and appreciated. This could be synonymous with the word, "man whore", however I would like to think girls wouldn't hate me.

I would want to compliment girls, because some girls take a long time to fix themselves up and some just go au natural preferring to face the world with their actual face, not that painted one. I wouldn't want a girl to feel lonely and I guess in a way if I did all these things I'd be leading girls on a lot, but I don't know. Girls like feeling good about themselves even if it's a wasted effort to pursue the guy who is being nice. I loved/love when guys would do cute things for me or compliment me, even if it was the most roundabout way of complimenting - it didn't matter who the guy was, if I was attracted to him or not, or even if I knew him: I liked the fact that I was noticed in a crowd of people, a crowd of girls who work a lot harder than I to get attention.

I feel like guys nowadays are scared to get hurt, so they resort to buying presents, which only hurt their wallets. You can't make a girl happy with presents alone. That goes for all girls, even that one stupid sorority girl in your class. Presents are great - no girl will ever turn one down, but there's something sweet, special, and romantic about receiving something that's not expensive and really well thought out.

I've gone full-out on some of the presents I've given Ricky with so much symbolism and thought behind every single aspect of the present. For example: since we first started dating til about 6 months, we had went to movies constantly. For a present, I thought it would be cute to put my tickets on a giant cardboard board with some pictures of us on there, ranging from when we first met through the progression of our relationship. I was really proud of it and thought it was one of the best things I've ever made. But like most of the mixed CDs I make for him, it just ends up being forgotten on the wayside for better things. I understand that it's not something guys are really in to, but still. Pouring my heart into everything I give takes a toll on my creativity and my heart, because it's like I'm not getting through and I end up feeling like crap for getting non-useful items.

Guys, the point I'm trying to make is this - if you want a nice, normal relationship with a girl and you're tired of hearing her bitch about things you do, why not listen, because I'm guessing a majority of her bitch-fits are preventable. If she wishes you would profess your undying love and affection in front of your "bros", then why not just hold her hand? It's a small act that just shows you care and these small acts really are painless and add up. She'll be so amazed that you care that she'll want to do something for you, whether it be physical or not.

If only for self-gain, I hope a good lesson comes out of this blog for some people.

Lies, Lies, Lies

Lit teacher said the best time to purge emotions is when there's an onslaught of them pushing down the reservoirs of your soul. Well, that was in my own words, but she said that poetry is the best means of expression of any emotion. Unfortunately, I'm not in the mood for anything.

Apathy sucks and I only have you to blame =/

Samples from Ricky's Writings

You're the Best I've Ever Had =]

DAY SEVEN: YOUR BEST FRIEND.

I feel like this post is as standard as many other posts, but for some reason I feel like it needs to be said in a constructive, creative manner. I will take this opportunity to paint the picture of what, in my humble and awesome opinion, makes my best friend the "best friend."

Humor - I refuse to hang out with anyone that doesn't have some semblance of this. It's like a giant divide comes between me and said person if I make a joke and elicit no response whatsoever. It's one thing to receive a, "wow, really?" laced with sarcasm, but when you receive a weird look like something is wrong with you, I must disagree. Something is wrong with you, soulless demon incapable of laughter.

Dabbling on the Insane - One of many connections between all of my best friends in my vast life history have this in common. I friend the bizarre people where something is slightly off about them. I don't even do this intentionally, but it happens anyway. I'm a magnet for them, because I think my pheromones laced with bizarre nerddess scent attracts them in. It's truly an awesome experience finding someone as equally out there as I like to think I am. I mean, look at the things I enjoy, such as theatre, video games, Spongebob, and anime/manga. I'm pretty sure I've been ostracized by society since birth, because my awesomeness and interests are too much for people.

From here it breaks off into subsections, because apparently my feeble brain can only find two commonalities between the best friends I've ever had. Wow. Monday has officially destroyed my brain. Thankfully, I have next Monday off for reasons unknown, but I can't complain =]

Words Cannot Fathom the Fuck I Do Not Give

I seriously need a venue to vent this to, because Facebook is making me censor myself from what I actually want to say.

Let me set up the scene for you.

I have a project due on Monday (tomorrow) with 5 other people on China's Military Strength and we found out our group members early September. While I was disappointed that I had to research China instead of some other topic, I was nonetheless excited for doing said project and getting it done. I've been in some phenomenal group projects with friends or even with aquaintances, but the closer it got to the 11th, my hopes and aspirations died and turned into bitterness and anger.

Even while the date drew ever so near, I still hoped that my group leader, who assured me in person that "she is the type of person who delivers exceptionally when outside pressures affect her," would prevail and turn this bad situation around. Actually she didn't say that, I changed the words to make her appear more intelligent, but all I could hear her say was that she's lazy, incompetent, and enjoys making people like me freak out and flail while she's safely floating, nestled on a door.

As if this meeting hasn't been pushed back enough, I wake up today to get ready for the 9:30 meeting time, which she ardently said would happen because SHE couldn't make it to Friday's 10:00 meeting. I texted her asking if there was actually a meeting, then figured I'd check my FGCU e-mail on the off chance there wouldn't be an e-mail alerting me of life's hatred towards me. However, a nice quaint message sat in my inbox pleasantly welcoming into its loving embrace to tell me, "No, there isn't a meeting today, young worrier, the meeting is pushed back until 3:30 due to family issues, but the leader promises we will meet at all costs at that time."

I'm not in the mood for excuses, so blaming it on family issues after you've exhausted all of your other excuses really upsets me. First, you blamed it on life bogging you down and having to do one thing after another. Listen, toots, if you're acting like this in college, I sincerely hope I won't work with you in the future, because I really will not put up with your crap if that's the case.

Second excuse was the fact you woke up with a headache and felt really sick on Friday morning. O rly? You felt sick from your hangover, and you want me to give a shit about that? Once again, I'd love for you to EMAIL your boss saying you can't come in because you woke up with a headache and an upset tummy. Let's see how fast that job is pulled out from under you, because LIFE DOESN'T CARE.

Third excuse is "family issues". I realize this one could actually be a legitimate reason, since most workplaces give some leeway when it comes to family. I've had family issues before, but I've never halted doing my school work or took a rain check. Truth be told, I didn't want to go to the meeting on Friday because I had better things to be doing instead of padiddling around FGCU to work on a project. Guess what the difference between me and this girl? I would have went to the meeting, vomit and queasiness in full force, because that's the type of person I am, not some stupid sorority girl who thinks this is okay. It's not okay and your excuses, true or not, are wearing thin on my patience and causing me to hate people in general for your utter failure.

I will be the hell incarnate if you choose to push the 3:30 meeting back. So help me I will find you and will correct your problems by eliminating the problem, which as far as I'm concerned, is you. When you said family issues, you probably meant with your sorority anyway, which in case you didn't know it, is more concerned with themselves than with anyone else so you'd be easily replaceable by some other girl who is willing to spend $200+ to sell her soul like you did.

I could rage onward, but this is so upsetting that I'm passive aggressively taking it out on people who don't deserve it. YOU, however, Ms. Sorority Excuse of the Day Girl, will receive a low recommendation score from me when it comes to your grade and eternal despise for making my life more difficult through your blatant disregard for others.

=]

"'I Wanna Hold Your Hand.' Fucking brilliant. Perhaps the most fucking brilliant song ever written, because they nailed it. That's what everyone wants. Not 24/7 hot wet sex. Not a marriage that lasts a hundred years. Not a Porsche or a blow job or a million dollar crib. No. They wanna hold your hand. They have such a feeling that they can't hide. Every single successful love song of the past 50 years can be traced back to 'I Wanna Hold Your Hand.' And every single successful love story has those unbearable and unbearably exciting moments of hand-holding. Trust me, I've thought a lot about this." (Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist)

Swoot!

Some days I sincerely hate the fact I told myself I couldn't blog 365 times in a year, this just so happens to be ANOTHER one of those days.

I can't wait to look back on this year and be able to actually count how many blogs I have said that sentence in and just left it at that. It's probably well into the 20s by now, if not more. I have roughly 255 posts already up, so maybe I'm VERY off. Point being, I'm incredibly lazy; it's also late; I'm also tired; it's also been a long and up and down day.

High points -
1. My meeting for my project was canceled.
2. I ate a delicious lunch with my mom and Ricky.
3. I found out I have 20/20 vision in my right eye and 20/15 vision in my left.
4. I got to get glasses anyway (for some reason..)
5. I got to watch a movie & hang out with Ricky during night hours rather than just during day time.

Low points -
1. My meeting for my project was canceled. My project is due on Monday and I don't even know my group members' names let alone what they look like, because GUESS WHAT. I've never met them yet.
2. My meal was very delicious, but upset my tummy to the point that I didn't go to zumba because I feared I would puke.
3. Testing my eyes to see what vision I have ended up making me tired and irritable on top of my stomach pains from one very intensely yummy burger.
4. Those glasses I ordered? I won't get them until next Friday, which will clearly be the day I don't feel like driving.
5. I was compared to the girl from Easy A, which gives me mixed feelings of good and bad, so it gets put into the low points, because I'll actually remember this.
5. I have no time to blog and thus I feel rushed, which leads to a crappy product being thrown at you, the avid consumer.

Sucks to be you... SUCKERS!

Some Serious Business

(wtf is this picture and why is this girl on top of a stove? Oh, wait, she has a glass of vodka in her hands. This makes so much more sense now.)

Have you ever had life present an opportunity to you that you would totally do, but then life throws you a curve-ball of responsibility and you may not be able to, but you totally want to and then you have that HUGE dilemma inside you of internal conflict? Yeah, I'm experiencing that because I want to be an Orientation Leader/Parent Program Assistant over the summer. But I also want to be able to go to an anime convention, which may or may not conflict with my duties because I don't know how often or how much I'll be working.

I'm also volunteering with Petco (TRAINING ON SATURDAY OMG!!!) for one hour each week, so I'm super duper scared to have that going on in my summer, but it's technically not a job or employment since I don't get paid for cleaning up kitty poo and feeding the cute cuddly cats =]

I'm so torn, because I have all of these desires and wants, like joining the FGCU Video Game Club and other things like that, but life and college will refuse my complete happiness by making it nearly impossible for me to juggle everything I want to do, because I still wanna be able to work out, eat like a pig, dabble in my nerd-dom, and sleep for long amounts of time =/

I'm such a lazy bear, but I need my laziness otherwise I'd explode from craziness and stress!

Be Prepared For The Cute!

The. cutest. thing. ever.

♥

Aptly Put

The more I read this quote, the more I realize how grammatically incorrect it is, but I can't find the way to correct it. It's written in a way, like Ricky's writing, where it's hard to decipher when I should stop the run-on sentences and when to just put commas everywhere. I'm leaving it as is with a few touch-ups because I'm anal about SOME grammar errors, such as "for" instead of 4. Really, Internet? Really?

"Go after her. Fuck, don’t sit there and wait for her to call. Go after her because that’s what you should do if you love someone. Don’t wait for them to give you a sign 'cause it may never come. Don’t let people happen to you; don’t let me happen to you. Or her. She’s not a fucking television show or a tornado. There are people I might have loved had they gotten on the airplane or run down the street after me or called me up drunk at 4 in the morning because they need to tell me right now and because they cannot regret this. I always thought I’d be the only one doing crazy things for people who would never give enough of a fuck to do it back or act like idiots or be entirely vulnerable and honest. Making someone fall in love with you is easy and flying 3,000 miles on four days notice because you can’t just sit there and do nothing and breathing into telephones is not everyone’s idea of love but it is the way I can recognize it because that is what I do. Go scream it and be with her in meaningful ways because that is beautiful and that is generous and that is what loving someone really is. That is raw and that is unguarded and that is all that is worth anything. Really."

No Picture Today =/

I don't know why my computer insists on being retarded.

I wish I were joking but I really think there's something mentally wrong with it when it won't even light up the whole desktop screen - it's off center and there's a black chunk to the right of the screen. I'm thanking God that the chunk isn't in the middle, but really. All of this computer issues on top of everything else will literally push me over the proverbial edge where the shit hits the fan and makes a mess everywhere.

I think the pro-bowler in the skies is trying to tell me that I fail at life and just need to stop everything. Or he's trying to tell me to just give up on everything and start anew, because I'm not just having problems with my computer.. perhaps this is divine intervention stepping in and saying, "Salutations!"

I kinda wish I got the hello through some other means..

*edit* no sooner than when I updated this did my computer revert to normal screen size..

Don't Careeeeeee

"I was half in love with her by the time I sat down. That's the stupid thing about girls. Everytime they do something pretty, even if they're not much to look at, or even if they're sort of stupid, you half fall in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. They really can." (The Catcher In The Rye)

So Much Promise for Today

Unfortunately, I don't have anything to blog about for today =/

I'm excited to see my parents tomorrow and get my hard drive back for my computer - I've missed functioning audio so terribly. I'm not looking forward to my test on Monday however, but in order to compensate for that, I will be donning a very special and amazing epic shirt to get me through Sunday and Monday, because I'm secretly a scrub.

Destiny's Child was right to avoid me.

All Time Low

when I'm actually laughing out loud while perusing lolcats.com because I don't know what picture to put on this blog.


For some reason my website where I retrieve my pictures won't open up. I'm sensing hostility between my computer, but I don't really understand why since I've been perusing websites for the past 2 hours since being here.

I think my computer hates being left alone when I leave, but it's not like I could take her with me. I'm part of the small minority of college students who have a desktop computer and not a laptop. Maybe that's why my computer decides to rebel, or maybe they hate the fact my phone could access the internet should I so choose.

I think until I live the life of a computer, I can never understand them. It's probably the same for guys who can't understand why girls do a majority of the things they do, and how girls can understand each other without completing sentences. I think the moral of this story is to become the enemy. So guys, get a sex change. I'm going to be busy trying to turn my internal organs into RAMs to optimize my GB capacity.