My worries from the previous post became a reality.

My grandma, affectionately known as Mom, passed away; I didn't expect to go to bed and wake up finding that an important person in my life wouldn't be here anymore. I'm going to miss you, Mom ♥ The silver lining is that now you won't be hurting and you can breathe easier, but I'm going to be missing you very much. From helping me to learn the difference between plant and planet/couch and coach and how to spell government, teaching me how to cook eggs when I was a freshmen in high school, and supporting me by being my biggest fan - I can only hope that I might be able to make as big of a difference in someone's life as you made in mine. You've officially been my best freind since first grade when I gave you a stick figure drawing of us in our colors, purple and pink. I was purple, because that was my favorite color, and even when I outgrew it and started liking blue, you'd always pick the color purple in board games and it made me happy, because it made me think you picked it thinking of me. For all I know, you just really liked the color purple ♥ You'll always be my best freind, because our friendship isn't ending no matter what ♥ I love you so much ♥

Copy and pasted, because I can't emote anymore right now.

A lot of stuff is happening in the family and I'm feeling really numb about everything, which is scary/off-putting. I just don't want to think it's actually happening, so I'm choosing to ignore it. I also don't know what to do, because I can't do anything to fix it except sit idly by and know it's happening.

I remember in 2009 or so, I started crying because I got so scared at the thought, and now that all of this is almost imminent, I can't express anything or maybe I should say, I don't want to express anything. I've never dealt with anything like this before and I don't know where to start or how to go about it. I'm really scared that I can't keep a promise I made to myself about it either, because I just feel like there's a time crunch on everything right now.

She has awhile yet, God willing, but all of these extraneous factors are making me feel like it can happen before the school year even starts again.

And right after I say I feel numb about it, I feel like I could cry if I let myself, but it's 5:30am and this is not the time. I guess I'm just throwing this out there in hopes that I'll feel better. It's really difficult to know how to handle this, because the communication within the family isn't that great right now, nor has it ever really been completely open. Drawbacks to the practice of "what happens behind closed doors, stays there" - if that's even a legitimate thing.

I think what makes this worse is the fact everyone is freaking out about it, which makes me freak out, and I just feel like this whole "let's go visit her" is the last visitations or something.

I hate it.

Homestuck

I have decided to copy down some beautiful quotes from Homestuck, because these lines are pure gold. I'll just randomly add to this post to make my life easier rather than having a billion posts containing Homestuck lines.

*edit* this is more like where I'll flail about Homestuck at this point...

"it's like fucking Christmas up in here"

"WHY WOULD YOU L4UGH 4T 4 BL1ND G1RL?!?!"

Dave is a brilliant human being (just this entire fucking dialogue. I laughed the entire time so I bookmarked it in case I ever needed a pick-me-up... or in this case a wheeze, because I laughed like Itchy from All Dogs Go To Heaven)

"C4N 1 L1CK TH3 P41NT1NGS?"

"This human emotion called friendship."

"This troll disease called friendship."

LOL (I abhorrently hated the darker blue's character, but ohmygod, this changed my mind. Yup, this entire conversation is perfect!)

"but seriously what is the real plan here that has to do with not fucking around"
"TH3R3 1S NO PL4N TH4T DO3S NOT 1NVOLV3 FUCK1NG 4ROUND BUT W3 W1LL M4K3 SUR3 4LL OF OUR FUCK1NG W1LL B3 4PPL1ED 1N 4 CONSTRUCT1V3 D1R3CT1ON"
"ok could you try to be somehow even less subtle when you hit on me thanks"
(have I mentioned that I love Dave?)

Karkat lecturing Dave & John (this entire link is golden. ALL THE SHIPPING.)

"HERE, JOHN HUMAN DIPSHIT. HAVE A SECOND AND PENULTIMATE FUCK YOU. FUCK. YOU. MAY IT MARK THE SECOND OF MANY TO COME AND THE MAGNIFICENT DENOUEMENT TO MANY RECEIVED. TOGETHER WE JUST TUGGED AT THE BOW TO UNRAVEL A PRESENT FULL OF GO FUCK YOURSELF" (Oh, Karkat...)

perfection

I'M SORRY THAT I'M NOT SORRY  (GOD, NEPETA, COULD YOU BE MORE OF A GPOY. SRSLY, U GUISE, SRSLY. She is my life.)

okay, I haven't been updating this with my favorite lines, which is unfortunate, but here's this - It's basically Act 6 Intermission 1 that I love, but it mostly starts from here until the end of the intermission. I'm sorry, but I was dying, so it needs to be posted. Act 6 Intermission 1 Brilliance

All Striders are perfect - seriously. This new Strider is already perfect.

why are you doing this? Seriously, Hussie, WHY.
I can't stop. I don't know whether to rejoice or facepalm or laugh.
Jane, I know that feel.

I'm just going to say  this right now - I love you. You said this earlier and I thought, "Hey, that's something I would say..." and then.. what I tagged previous. It's settled. You're in my favorites now - let's hope you don't disappoint me, which you won't.
*EDIT: ON JULY 28, 2012, I LEARNED YOUR NAME. YOU DO NOT DISAPPOINT. AT ALL.*

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY SHIP. MY SHIP. MY SHIP. ALL OF MY SHIPS I CAN'T. I seriously can't. Oh. My. God. HUSSIE.

KARKAT. ACT 6 INTERMISSION 2. YOU ARE A FAVORITE. ALL OF YOU. I can't even select a page to quote. From Dave talking about apple juice to Karkat - I've lost the ability to even.
I lied - Dave & Karkat - I never knew how much I wanted this to happen until it did.

omfg, Hussie, you did not just quote Dragonball Z. Let me love you down~

Fact: boners are discussed and I can't even.

July 9, 2012 is by far my favorite update of Homestuck thus far and for obvious reasons. I've known for awhile that I wanted a hoodie from Homestuck and NOW I know whose hoodie I want to rep for the rest of my life. Oh my goodness. I want two hoodies to be honest, but as far as what the first one would be? Everyone needs to back up, because this specific character deserves all my love and affection til the end of time.