Sunday, October 31, 2010

Declaration of War



This is my decree against the logical and ever so helpful Gulfline. Such a formidable foe as he cannot dismiss my praise so lightly, fore I'd be surprised if ever he has received such compliments such as that.

This letter is therefore written as a peace-offering sprinkled with bitterness and a dash of disdain. 'Tis true, Gulfline, that you have angered commoners such as I more often than naught and tonight shall be the last of your horrid behavior. I shall whip thee into submission with my awesome prowess and, if I may say so, I will make you my bitch.

Take this as a warning, judicious and supreme Gulfline, for I am not one to mess with. If tonight's activities go unrequited, I will hunt you down and kill you and rape your woman who is so elegantly named FGCU. This letter is short, sweet, and to the point, so as not to confuse you since your brain capacity is so minuscule that a few students trying to access your wares will send you into a spiraling frenzy of failure. This failure is so horrendous that those of lesser IQs and of fail cannot fathom how you have existed this way without being smited or lynched.

I am aware that tonight is the ever hailed night of Halloween, but your chicanery better not pursue into the wee hours of the first. If this should be the case, I will punish you as previously stated in this excerpt. Learn thy lesson well for I shall not be so benevolent when you cross me incorrectly.

I bite my thumb at you, Gulfline.

You shall be my bitch tonight at midnight and you WILL like it.

2 comments:

  1. Haha this really sounds like a peace offering! 8P *sarcasm hand raised*

    good luck tonight!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Excellent! Lets get our rebel hats on.

    ReplyDelete