Dear FGCU Nursing Program

It has come to my attention that your websites you would like me to upload my medical documents onto is flawed. Perhaps you are aware and this whole process is just to see who really wants to be in the program to begin with. If you aren't aware, sit down and listen to this.

You tell me that you want a vaccination of varicella or positive titer results from a doctor or from a lab report. I HAD THE CHICKEN POX WHEN I WAS BUT AN INFANT. There are NO medical reports of a problem my parents forced me to have! Am I really expected to go to some doctor, just because me and my parents word isn't enough?

Then I send you information on my Hepatitis B vaccinations. If you read the document I sent you correctly, all the information you would need to know about ANYTHING is on there. I don't think you read it, because for some unknown reason, you rejected it "because it doesn't have information about my Hep B vaccinations on there." I'm sorry, since when was a state of Florida certificate of immunization not enough proof of my Hep B vaccinations? Remind me when I have kids to take pictures of them getting their shots, because something verified by the state isn't enough proof for these people.

Backtracking, you know on that state certified form, it also says I had positive results of chicken pox, because ya know, I had it. Just saying. Perhaps you should hire people who can read or think intellectually before you decide to fuck me sideways.

What is really quaint about all of this is that for some reason I have to jump through hoops over the internet, rather than turning in all of this paperwork for you guys to figure out. I took all those papers that YOU specifically sent me and I've been filling them out. I go to upload them onto your 20 different websites and for some reason, you decide to reject them. That's cool.

Let's not forget that I'm the one that's spending copious amounts of cash to attend this university and for this program in particular, so maybe you should be trying to make this "registering" process a little bit easy on me. So far, it's been like ramming needles in my eyes. I understand it's tedious work for you to sit down and enter 60 people's information into your database, but I'd appreciate a little bit of sympathy because it's not like I have full access to a scanner so I can upload these documents. Not everyone is mega rich and that's kinda why I'm going to college in the first place, so if you could just calm your tits about my "incorrect documentation" that'd be great.

Sincerely,
a Fall 2011 Nursing student who just wants to enjoy her last carefree summer in peace before she signs her soul away to Hippocrates.

Seriously, why me?

Going to get internet shanked.

Getting a relationship request from some dude and having him caps lock me via Twitter to accept it = me regretting ever getting a Twitter.

Why must I be so damn irresistible over the internet, but have a nonexistent spark in real life?

Oh, life, what ever did I do to make you punish me so? #channelingmyinnerHamlet

Cuteness Overload ♥

MY HEART. OH MY GOODNESS. This dood is after my heart ♥

"The way you make me feel is like, smelling fresh cut grass or being in the back of a convertible under the stars. Or returning home from a long trip or just driving with no destination in the summer. It's like the feeling you get when you get an ‘A’ on your report card and your parents tell you how proud they are. Or when you hear your family laugh together or the whooshing of a tunnel when you drive with the windows down. It's like when you’re outside on a hot summer day and you have a cold glass of water or when you talk to an old friend after a month or two, yet the two of you are still as close as ever. It's like the feeling you get when you hear your favorite childhood song on the radio for the first time in years, you turn it up and feel so alive. Or laying in bed during winter break, knowing you don’t have to get up for hours and getting to just lay in the warmth of your comforters. It's the way your stomach flip flops during your first true kiss or how your body feels when you take off in an airplane for the first time. Or when you drive around in the front seat of the car that belongs to the boy you like, and even though you should feel scared beyond control because he's driving so fast and stupid, you feel so safe and alive. Yeah, that feeling. The way you make me feel, feels good to me."



"I remember when we used to talk about getting married to each other or that when I got married, we would still hang out as much, if not more than how we used to. For some reason, you never thought you'd get married, but you always left that option open for me. Now you're dating and I get a twinge in my heart when I think it's not going to be the same anymore. But in reality, all it takes is one look in your eyes to calm all my fears. It's that look when you walk into a room and you see that I'm there. You probably aren't even aware of how genuinely happy and excited you look for that split second. I must cause you a lot of grief with your girlfriend, because she might not understand, but for us, nothing's changed. You still make me feel like the most important person to you. You've never given me a reason to think otherwise. Words can't describe how that makes me feel, but with each excited glance and wide-brimmed smile, you can't possibly know how much that gets my hopes up."

Obviously I didn't make the videos, but this guy has so many other songs that are as adorable and so honest. I'm swooning over this. That's some serious shit.

Quotes/Giant chunks of passage may not or may *cough* have been written by me, but the feelings behind them are something that I think about everyday ♥ It's not always perfect, because clearly it isn't, but I can hope that one day it will be pretty close to that. That's all I really can do at this point!!

I decided to stop looking for a perfect love and find a love that feels perfect. Because, ya know, there's a complete difference. *slight sarcasm* A perfect love doesn't have any problems or flaws, but a love that feels perfect is one where the problems don't affect the relationship. Too often did I let things get in the way of my happiness with someone & when looking back on it, it was never that big of a deal. At the time, it meant a lot, because my trust was broken and my feelings were hurt, but I think that when I meet that guy that makes me want to push through the scheiße, then I'll be set. I've got all my chickens lined up right now and it can only get better from here on out :D

scheiße

"I, I wish that I could dance on a single prayer.
I, I wish I could be strong without somebody there.
I, I wish that I could dance on a single prayer.
I, I wish I could be strong without the scheiße, yeah."

As weird as this may sound, this seems like it's going to be my anthem. Among the many songs on this CD that I love, which trust me, I could spam post so many of them, this one gets the privilege of being posted first. Aside, from Edge of Glory which I posted when Gaga leaked it, but that's not the point. I'll also probably post Bloody Mary and maybe a few others :X

It's funny to think that I didn't actually commit to loving Lady Gaga until December/January. Funny story actually, the first time I ever heard "Bad Romance" was while I was driving to Ricky's house from FGCU and I sat in my car in shock. 'How did this song even get on the radio? This isn't even good!' I thought. It grew on me the more I made fun of it, plus it's so damn catchy that it was only a matter of time. I didn't think she was this amazing person; I saw her as more of a person that would come and go, much like other singers before her. I only ever heard her radio singles, which I enjoyed because of how upbeat and infectious they were, but I never bothered to listen to her other songs, let alone the songs she did before becoming Lady Gaga.

Then around December, when I was going through a hard time, which may sound moronic, but I was hurting, I decided to buy her two CDs on a whim. It was probably the most impulsive purchase I ever made just because I really had no reason to. I didn't know what I was getting into but that was the start.

Now look how far down the rabbit hole I am.

I have her t-shirts, a poster, I pre-ordered her deluxe CD and almost had a conniption waiting for it, I went to The Monster Ball with my best friend and nearly cried so many times during the concert, I don't talk about her in front of my parents because they don't understand and look at her on superficial levels. It's so bad that I don't even care that the previous "sentence" isn't even grammatically correct.

For anyone who actually read this and is curious, the title "Scheiße" means "shit" aka "bullshit".

Have I mentioned how much I dislike getting texts from people when I have no idea what their angle is? Like, it's one thing for a friend to text me, but then you step into a gray area and I have NO idea how to communicate. I end up taking offense to it, because he has a girlfriend he should be text harrassing and that's not me!

Ergo, he has no right to know WHY a dood danced like a posessed monkey/Hitler in my face so that his crotch was mere inches away. I don't even know why that happened or why Hitler dances around like a monkey. All I know was it was Sarah's party and she signed my forehead with a sharpie <3 :D

I saw Melissa for like 3 seconds, because she ended up leaving very quickly. I was introduced to some crazy characters, aka Hitler dood. I also had a thoroughly awkward time, because Austin didn't even go and Sarah was floating around talking to everyone :C

However, it was a pretty fun way to spend Friday night regardless. Can't wait to repeat it tomorrow but at Lexi's house! Cape Coral field trip? I think so :D I can't wait to see the burrowing owls and lucky for me, she lives right next door to THE burrowing owl family of da Cape <3

Perfect synopsis of my night last night.

You know, not accounting the fact that Watson has now perpetually made my phone get stuck on caps lock. I feel sorry for the poor soul who texts me and thinks I'm yelling at them, because for some reason the caps button is jammed. This reminds me of when my phone would constantly re-send the same stupid text from him, which coincidentally, was an April Fool's text where he was being a troll. Thankfully, my phone stopped doing that after almost 2 weeks of doing so.

Going to a friend's birthday party tonight and then a graduation party tomorrow, so these next few days should prove interesting to say the least. That social quota will finally be met; I'll also spend more time hanging out with my best friend's girlfriend, which is always a joy; I also might acquire more people's phone numbers for texting, which will be fabulous, because my phone is as moody as a woman going through menopause. It's one of those things where I feel like I have to apologize because my phone fails so much and I end up having to make them repeat their number 20 times before my phone actually gets it right.

Super delayed, but the Glee finale was meh. There were scenes of pure gold, such as Puck & the guys singing Bella Notte, Rachel telling Finn she can't date him, Rachel & Kurt singing "For Good", Blaine/Kurt <3, & Samcedes, which I totally called! But it couldn't make up for how much I RAGED when it ended. Gah. These characters are just SO stupid sometimes. This is why I don't watch TV, because I get way too invested in characters and take their character choices way too seriously. I will leave it at that way before I go into super rant mode! :P

LOOK HOW CUTE THIS IS :D

:D

I GOT THE BORN THIS WAY CD IN THE MAIL FINALLY <3 :D

Excuse me while I recluse myself and become a hermit. My summer and life has just started <3

*edit* yup. It's official. I will most likely be spamming this blog with adoration for this fantastic experience.

An Amalgamation of Topics

Yes, I, who have been pouring so much money into Metrocon, want to spend even more.

I did not go to Busch Gardens with my friends like I had planned to, HOWEVER, there is the possibility of me buying a formal dress for Metrocon that I may never have the opportunity to wear again.

I am contemplating on buying a Chinese dress, which is properly termed as a "cheongsam." This proves that I TOTALLY know what I'm purchasing and that I'm not a silly American twit who purchases things because it's "Asian" or "foreign." I never realized how giant I would be considered in China and how CRAZY they measure clothes there, considering I'd have to purchase it from there. Maybe they measure clothes in the correct fashion, but wow.

This dress would be for the formal/masquerade in which I think I'd look pretty bamf, but as Kim, Tristan, & I have discussed tonight, if I wore high heels, I'd most likely look like a transvestite. It's nice being tall, but appearing to be a 7' foot tall women will only get me so far, plus I'm not adept at the art of walking in high heels.

Graduation was fun. I saw many a familiar face and I also probably made quite the impression for those strangers or bystanders who did not know me in the least. I made an absolute fool of myself by waving at people and having them not notice, or in James's case, noticed but did nothing until I put my hand down, in which case he smiled and waved slightly. I screamed out my friends' names when they walked out to the courtyard to get their actual diplomas, causing the crowd to turn around and gaze upon my glorious visage.

What can I say, I enjoy expressing myself in social situations a little bit moreso than other people, even at the expense of myself and my self-esteem. Thankfully though, the hugs and camaraderie of the graduating class of 2011 made it completely worth it. I know that they are moving onto bigger and better things and that Verot is just the stepping stone for them. I'm glad I've known them for as long as I have and it pains me to watch them go, as will next year's class, but it's a part of life we all must bear through.

We gotta get through the worst of times in order to have the best of times ♥

And even though that's the case for the majority, I know for myself personally that Verot was some of the best moments of my life, however pitiful that may sound. I look back fondly and reminisce everyday, constantly wondering how I could have made it a better experience and looking jealously at the Theatre kids as they get to perform with Ms. Day as their overseer. I can't help it! Maybe that's my immature side that hasn't quite moved on yet speaking, but I hope I never lose sight of that, because then I'll lose sight of my building blocks, whether nicely planned or Tetris-fucked :D

Rambling Idiotic Blitherings of a Bored Individual Teen

(Yes, I intentionally made the acronym RIBBIT & NOTHING [not an acronym] should ever be taken too seriously when said in a post that has a nonsensical acronym)

Some days my resolve shakes. Maybe that's for a reason, like maybe I'm making the wrong choice. Other times, I can't even imagine where I'd be otherwise. Well, I wouldn't have been pounced upon for starters, but besides that, there's always that "paradox" looking me square in the eyes as a constant reminder that I made a choice. I could take it back, but then what am I left with? Uncertainty and more doubt than I already have.

I keep having this resolve for massive change and maybe that's my problem - I don't change fast enough, if at all. I'm not even 100% sure of what I even want or what this blog's point even is. Maybe it's better that it doesn't really have a purpose, because that way I can just continue to drivel on in hopes of clarity. It probably isn't doing me any good thinking about this..

Focusing on the positives:
In 5 months, I've managed to achieve many things. I've rekindled old friendships and old friendships have grown moreso; I've met a whole group of people who are interesting and like the things I quietly gush about to myself; I've learned that no matter how embarrassed I am about a topic, nothing is going to change unless I mention it; I've shared more about myself than I would normally with people, such as exposing people to the wonders of Miyazaki or even just talking about what I like/dislike about the opposite sex with people I barely know; I've been face to face with jealousy and yet I continue to strive to be the better person instead of letting it overcome me completely (I'm still not perfect!); I've patched up my relationship with my parents; I'm finally exploring something I've always wanted to do, but never had the guts to do it before; I'm slowly realizing how difficult life is going to get from here on it, but if I keep those who are dear to me close by, I think I can persevere.

On the other side of the coin, there are but a few negatives:
Sometimes, I lose my way and don't know where I'm going - proverbially speaking, of course; I wonder if I'm learning what I want to be learning or maybe I'm just walking down the path that seems to be mapped out already; Even when I'm having the best day ever, the slightest thing turns it around and it often happens when I have no explanation for it - perhaps it's hormonal and I'm finally caving in to my lady side, but I shouldn't do a 180 without knowing why; Sometimes I get lonely and it's always for seemingly no reason - I feel empty sometimes, because I'm not yet comfortable talking about the things that are on my mind to those whom I dub my friends/family; I feel like everyday I wake up without remembering my mistakes of yesterday, like I'm living life in a comatose state where I see everyone moving in front of me, but I can't move with them.

In other news, Something Borrowed was so good and I busted up laughing during one part of the movie. Because of that, I have made it my mission to own the movie when it is released on DVD. It reminded me of a bantering session I would have with my friends :P

Now that this unknown post is over..