Letter to a Bitter Frenemy

Dear College,

Hi. We've met several times, seeing as how I attend you. Ricky, do not be alarmed, although I'm sure you're not, since you've convinced yourself of so many other untrue things involving me, Tito, and Travis. Not necessarily all of us together.. well, now that you've thought about that, let's continue forth with the actual intent behind this letter.

I have a qualm with your system, dear College. You have so graciously given us students a day off on Monday for mysterious reasons that can only be explained through Mother Nature's benevolence as well as the grace of God. This is all well and dandy, however, you have made one grave mistake. You put Thursday classes on Tuesday while still having Thursday classes on Thursday, which confuses everyone and causes us to question you. Why would you do such a thing? Do you realize I have an 8 am lab on Thursday that requires a copious amount of homework to be done? Surely, this was a mistake, because some of my colleagues have no classes on Thursday, which means no classes on Tuesday. Do you see the faulty foundation you have served? You have disserviced Travis from his education and I'm pretty sure that's illegal among other things such as unfair to those of us who treasure every second of collegiate life.

I know that you are not normally this much like a curmudgeon and I can't help but feel like you are tired of people walking all over you. I wouldn't like it either. I'm sure the sorority girls' maniacal cackling in the hallways drives you bonkers and this is your form of divine punishment. It seems a tad misaligned though, seeing as how I am not a dumb broad. I'm a smart one, so you cannot pull the wool over my eyes.

With this upcoming Monday off, I shall be spending about 4 hours attempting to do homework for classes which you decided to pile onto my plate two days early without first consulting me. Does this sound like a day off to you? It doesn't to me, so I just wanted clarification. Maybe next time in the near future, we will learn from our mistakes and plan accordingly...

I'm looking at you, FGCU.

Your humble denizen,
Jessica