My Life as Jess

Yesterday I had one of those choice moments where you bump into someone unexpectedly. It wasn't just anyone, though.

Yes. I ran into Usher while on the FGCU campus.

Well, not really. But I did run into a black guy who looked exactly like Usher - he even made the reference too and I had to agree.

Unfortunately, as most of my random conversations go with acquaintances, it turned awkward VERY quickly.

Let's re-wind and start from the beginning: I was on campus working on my Colloquium journal and I was also interested in finding out what bands were playing at Nest Fest. Not like I'd go to it, but I was curious nonetheless and had nothing better to do. I went into the library to check my grades, which are never updated, but I'm obsessed with finding out how I'm doing. As I was leaving and going to my class an hour early, like a nerd champ!, this meeting happened. I was digging through my purse, as I often do when I walk, because I get tired of swinging my arms, this kid points at me and says, "HEYYY YOU!" Clearly my face looked confused, so he took the Usher sunglasses off and I recognized him to be Blain.

Blain, the kid that I've ALREADY had enough awkward moments with to last me a lifetime. The kid that originally told me about the VGC and gave me his phone number, so when I would text him about it, he would forget about our conversation. Yeah. Him.

So when I realized he was someone I knew, I said hey and then he initiated a hug. Surprise hugs throw me off so much and then add to the fact I'm not THAT close to this guy and he wants to hug? Either way, I was thrown off, so when we hugged, I hit my chin against his shoulder. Awkward instance #1.

Then I mentioned how I barely recognized him since he was wearing a beanie, sunglasses, and legit clothes, rather than cartoon character t-shirts. He says, "Well, my friend said that I look like Usher when I wear stuff like this. So, I just said, 'fuck it, I'll wear it anyway!'" This led to 2 minutes of laughter. I didn't know how to end the conversation which was dying the moment it began, so I said this nugget of brilliance: "haha famous." I shit you not. I said that. Thank God, it was more of an aside to myself, rather than loud enough to be considered a continuation of topic. Awkward instance #2.

Then while this bout of laughter is going on, one of his friends walks up and looks at me like I'm some sort of alien, which causes me to stand there awkwardly, not knowing if I walk away or if I stand there idly while they talk. I opted to stand there. After their conversation, we talked about what was due in Colloquium and parted ways in a relatively normal fashion.

And that's how I bumped into Usher and why I'm a socially awkward penguin.