*Facepalm*

I have to document this moment, so if I ever forget what the most AWKWARD moment of my life was, I'll be able to remember that this is my Crowning Moment of Awk. It's so awkward that I don't even get the ward part attached to it.

Before we get started, I don't like to pry into people's personal lives. It's actually one of my least favorite things to do, because it's awkward enough having to ASK, but then you have to worry if you come off as some kind of creep that wants to know these sorts of things. It's made worse when the person you want to ask is in a transitory phase where you're not sure what the relationship is. It sounds worse than it actually is. BRIEF HISTORY SYNOPS = completely inseperable best friends -> rarely talking -> hanging out all the time. Clearly we aren't where we used to be, so I'm wary on how to act, considering it's been basically 3 years of not talking much.

*sigh*

I don't even know how to even segway into this conversation WITHOUT being creep/awkward.

My friend's ex came up in conversation and we've talked about her before. I've met her. ish. She was the only person who didn't speak to me or attempt to speak to me, which I thought spoke wonders about who she was. But then again, who am I to judge? Oh right, I'M A FUCKING DRAGONBORN CHAMPION. But that's a different story.

So he's talking about her and I decided to ask who broke up with whom. It's a fair question, albeit weird since I'M asking it. I get a brief and vague backstory, but then again a guy never knows why they break up when they do, so it's explainable. Well anyway, after that question, it led to a tailspin of other information, which I didn't know how to respond to. He said, "Yeah, well my mom never really liked her." What did I say? "Well, moms usually have a good sense about that sort of thing, I guess." 'WHAT THE FUCK, JESSICA,' I think. We pull up to my car and he's still kind of talking about it. There's a brief lull in conversation and I chime in with this witty line: "Ha, yeah, sorry about asking such an awkward question." Here's how the rest went -

Him: "What did you say??"
Me: "sorry that was awkwar- uhm. ha ha. never mind forget I said anything." (I literally said, ha. ha. I'm so idiotic when I speak sometimes)
Him: "Did you say it was an awkward question?"
Me: "uhm yeah, but don't worry about it! So uhm, thanks for the ride. Bye!"

I get into my car and contemplate smashing my forehead into the steering wheel. I couldn't stop thinking about it as I drove behind his vehicle. Seriously? Did that really just occur? There's nothing more awkward than when someone brings attention to it. I've NEVER done that before. Among the other weird things I've said tonight, like that mom's intuition line or probably having a weird face when he was texting during the party which caused him to apologize for texting when we got in the car, I'm pretty much on an Awkward Turtle roll.

I've never felt more weird/bizarre in my life. Let's ignore the fact the party was in Cape Coral and I haven't been there in a good 3 months for good reasons. The fact the party was off Cultural Park heightened it. I bet that's why I was so awkward. Yeah, I'm just gonna chalk it up to that and NOT the fact that whilst driving he decided to take his shirt off to change into another one while I'm sitting there, and definitely NOT the fact that the only line of music I can remember is, "I'm a woman hear me roar." Thank God, I wasn't more awkward, otherwise I probably would have roared or made some lame joke about how I'm a Leo and Leos go rawr. Also chalk it up to the fact that this whole moment occurred after midnight, a time in which I cannot be held responsible for my follies.

I guess I should count my blessings that I made it safely home and didn't get attacked by zombies. Yeah. I'll leave it on that positive note.