*deep breath*

I can't bring myself to delete a lot of things that I know I should like old messages on Facebook. There's no good memories from them, especially ones from 2008-2009, but I can't delete them. It's like I have to keep them as a reminder of the shitstorm I subjected myself to or like as proof that I'm not some heartless bitch for acting so.. well.. heartless. It's also because if I do start dating again, I want a prime example of what NOT to do for the next guy I entrust my existence to. Seriously, I can't think of any other perfect examples of all the negative qualities that I don't want.

I almost want to print them out and store them away somewhere out of sight, so I can whip out a shoe box of horrible memories for whoever is brave enough to read them. It could be like a Survivor challenge: whoever can stomach to read ALL of them gets the reward. I'm not sure what the reward will be, but I doubt anyone would want to read pages upon pages or hear stories upon stories of the horrid times.

The only way to proceed forward is to stop looking at the past, but how do you do that when the past holds so much unresolved weight?