Considering I can't say anything about my patient outside of the hospital, I will say that I had a good day at clinicals, I am alive, my back is killing me, and I got to SAW a cast.

I took my retest and I psyched myself out, as I always do. I had the right answer for one of them but then I changed it.. like an idiot, so I got a 90% when I needed a 95%, but there wasn't really anywhere to lose half a point... so I don't know. I hope I can stay in the class, otherwise, that's AWKWARD, I wouldn't get a full refund, and then I'd only be a part-time student, so Bright Futures would be all up in my ass... then I'd get pushed back a semester, meaning I might have to go to college without a scholarship, while my mom is getting ready to retire.

I'm really overwhelmed by ALL the things I have to do, because I feel like there's no time. I want to have me time, as well, and I realize that's asking a little too much, but still. I'd like to be able to sit in my room without smelling the hospital, even after taking a shower - maybe it's just one of those things that never goes away.

I also still don't know if this is what I'm willing to do. The nurses there all work 12 hour shifts. THAT'S CRAZY! I saw a nurse last night and I saw her still working when I checked in this morning. It's just crazy.

But, all I know is, seeing my patient smile and when I said goodbye to them, they didn't want me to leave and kept asking me if I really had to go, even when other Nursing students were coming to get me, THAT made me like today, despite the stress of everything and knowing I didn't accomplish half of what I was supposed to.

I wish Nursing could be about THAT.