WARNING: Emotional. Seriously.

This is more of a continuation of the previous song post, but I didn't want to edit it, nor did I want it to be put into the comment section.

I think the reason why I get so emotional over Up and the music/song that accompanies that portion of the film, is because of the images shown and all that's happening presently in my life.

It's about to get real personal very quickly, so you don't have to read this.

My grandparents, affectionately named Mom & Pap Pap, are like my 2nd parents; whenever my mom or dad couldn't be there for me, they were always around. Some of my fondest memories involve them in some way, shape, or form, because when I wasn't at school, I was most likely to be found at their house. Pap-Pap helped me learn the distinct difference between "couch" and "coach" and why I couldn't confuse the two together; Mom helped me learn how to spell government and environment and how there's silent n's & she also gave me my first cooking lesson. So it goes beyond saying that they are extremely important to me.

Well, as it stands, Mom isn't doing too well. I know she's sick with something, but when it comes right down to it, I'm in the dark. When I ask, it gets hushed up and swept under the family rug, because it's just something we don't talk about. The last thing I heard was that she had tumors/cancer on her lungs, and I think she could an operation to remove most of the cancer/tumor/whatever it was. Now whenever I visit, I almost always start tearing up, because I can see the decline that her happy optimistic attitude can't make up for. She was laying on the couch the last time I saw her, because her back was hurting and she was taking copious amounts of medicine for who knows what. She has glaucoma in one eye, which I know she tried getting corrected, but I guess it wasn't treatable.

So seeing Up is like watching Mom & Pap Pap for me. Their personalities are mirrored exactly the same. Pap Pap is the reserved one who comes across as a grumpy old man and Mom has always been the cheerful, overly friendly one who loves taking pictures. I think it's for this reason why Up means so much to me and why I feel so much towards a movie that explains emotions I'm not 100% certain on myself.

I always told myself that I want a love like how Mom & Pap Pap love one another, that despite Pap Pap having two bad knees, he will do the chores around the house, while Mom rests, without ever expecting something in return.

It's hard sometimes, because I'm e-mail pen pals with Mom and sometimes I can't e-mail back as promptly or often as I should. I constantly worry about whether or not it might be the last e-mail I get and I never got back to her. I know she wouldn't want me to be worrying about that, but it's still my worry nonetheless.

I know life shouldn't be lived in the fear of when death takes us away, but I still always get a twinge of sadness when I think about what I would do if it really were to happen. I mean, even now, my emotions are getting the better of me, but it's better to write it out then to harbor the worry and sad feelings myself.