Sometimes I wonder what the old me would say about the new me.
If anything I think the old me would be appreciative of who I am now, because going through all of these tribulations, even when things hurt like hell and it felt like everything was against me, I somehow managed to get on the other side of it all. The old me would just say it was fine and be done with it; the topic or event would never come up again verbally because I wouldn't let it. But now with a little help from Ricky (more like a lot of help), I'm standing up for myself more often and I've become more selfish, greedy, and demanding. Maybe that's what I've really needed. A sort of metamorphosis to happen to realize who I am deep down and to stop ignoring how I feel. Realizing who really matters and weeding out through those who don't is extremely tough; it hurts seeing all the empty spaces in your life that HAD to be filled for happiness.
But it's also refreshing to be able to step back and see what I'm capable of myself. The old me would still be serving as every other person's expectations. I'm glad this new edition of Jess can be herself without fear of rejection or failure.
If anything I think the old me would be appreciative of who I am now, because going through all of these tribulations, even when things hurt like hell and it felt like everything was against me, I somehow managed to get on the other side of it all. The old me would just say it was fine and be done with it; the topic or event would never come up again verbally because I wouldn't let it. But now with a little help from Ricky (more like a lot of help), I'm standing up for myself more often and I've become more selfish, greedy, and demanding. Maybe that's what I've really needed. A sort of metamorphosis to happen to realize who I am deep down and to stop ignoring how I feel. Realizing who really matters and weeding out through those who don't is extremely tough; it hurts seeing all the empty spaces in your life that HAD to be filled for happiness.
But it's also refreshing to be able to step back and see what I'm capable of myself. The old me would still be serving as every other person's expectations. I'm glad this new edition of Jess can be herself without fear of rejection or failure.
" . . .suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but - I hope - into a better shape." (Charles Dickens, Great Expectations)
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