WHAT EVEN IS?!

Today in a nutshell:

1. I thought Watson sent me on a wild goose chase as I attempted to find his house.
2. Once at his house, I discovered that his "wittle puppy" is actually a MASSIVE animal rivaling the dog from Fable.
3. Acting out Shakespeare is always fun when said pup gets involved during the death of Pyramus and Thisbe.
4. Bertie Bott's every flavor beans HAS every flavor bean and the Cinnamon one basically made me queasy!
5. Top Gear is indeed funny, like Watson said it is!
6. Doctor Who and its lore causes me many headaches and causes Watson to face elbow himself

My stomach is a massive jumble of Taco Bell, jelly beans, and rice from dinner! I'm going to straight up pass out from my sugar high, if that even makes any sense whatsoever

Breaking News!

I'm going to cave and actually use the Twitter account I created for some unknown reason. I probably made it just to say, "I have one!" I figure it could act as my Facebook status updates, because I already update my status too much as it is.

Some potential tweets that I would have tweeted, if my phone would be set up for that sort of thing:

• "is there something on my face? people keep talking to me randomly"
• "flirtatious waiters cause me to over eat. Shouldn't it be the opposite?"
• "I got invited to eat with a guy and his friends and I said no. Wait, what?"
• "That guy? He said bye to me as I was leaving and I ran into a chair. FML"
• "Random witness to my fail asks if I'm okay. WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME?"
• "I'm driving through North Lake and some guy stares at me like I'm an alien"
• "Oh. I'm blasting Destiny Child's "Say My Name" song.. no fucking wonder."

My twitter would be overloaded because all of those "tweets" would have occurred within a 40 minute span of time at the most.

Today has been truly adventurous and I've eaten so much pizza and drank so much Diet coke, that I felt like I was going to throw up if someone poked my stomach. I don't know why they would, but the point remains.

Ever since my epic trail quest with my 7 companions, I feel like roaming outside for the hell of it. I made like 3 trips outside when I could have just done it in one trip. Even now, I sit in my dorm wondering if my shoes are dry or if they've been stolen. I don't think they will ever dry fully and I'm contemplating on buying "Colloquium shoes" should the need ever arise where trudging through mud swamps seems like a grand idea just to eat an orange.

In my defense, I was hungry and I wanted to get to my dorm so I could eat. I thought nature trail would be a quick efficient way. It wasn't and I almost lost my shoes on multiple occasions and my socks were so seeped with mud that it was ridonkulous.

I want this bed. Now.

Thank you, Nick

for providing me one massive "LOL" moment in real life. I just met you and I already know you're a giant goofball who clearly means well. You also have a Droid from Verizon, like I do, but you apparently like your phone, while mine is still a glitchy pain in the ass.

The story isn't even funny without explaining what the purpose of doing this experiment was, which causes me much dismay when I attempt to relay the story. Here is the story to the best of my ability, while not trying to sound like a major Science nerd:

We are experimenting to create an environment for this specific bacteria to live and grow on it. Usually the petri dishes are already created with the agar solution on the bottom of it, which feeds the bacteria so they can grow. We had to make the petri dish and the agar solution from scratch. We were all done placing the liquid form of agar and our bacteria into the petri dish and while we were waiting for the petri dish to solidify, I went to get started on the next portion of the experiment, which required an already made agar/petri dish combo. My partner, Nick, got so excited that he said, "Oh wait! I already got you one!" and as he is saying this he FLIPS our creation upside down, realizes that was the experiment that had to sit out, and then flips it back over in a panic. He looks at me and says, "Oops.." and I BUSTED up laughing.

I'm still laughing about it. It was that hilarious to me for some reason. I couldn't stop laughing/smiling for the rest of the class, which probably looked really weird, considering I sit in the front row and we were playing with bacteria that could potentially cause anthrax. It doesn't help that from the moment we started doing the experiment, he was being a major klutz about everything. The tubes of distilled water that he was carrying? A majority of the water spilled on the table before we could even use them, causing the experiment to take slightly longer than other people. It's probably also the fact I've never sat next to this kid and I've had the class twice now. Usually a lady sits next to me, so when he sat down next to me, I was already intrigued. Nobody sits in the front of the class willingly, especially after 2 weeks of the class.

It was just so painfully adorable to even hear him explain to the teacher why our agar plate looked so fucked up in comparison to everyone elses.

So thank you, Nick, for making the nerd/perfectionist in me laugh =]

MLIAwesome

So since I've already past the 365 day mark, I won't even care that my blog is off my 11 minutes.

I just got back from the most BALLIN' party ever. There was so much win (when?) and awesome (ausssss) at that party that I can't even contain my excitement. I smell of smoke and apparently my hair smells like ash and I totally know my clothes reek of fire. There was a massive bonfire, an epic game of Manhunt, at which I pwned due to my long extremities and I was totally praised for my Herculean effort to elongate my body. I touched so many people.

Brett had like 5 dogs, one of which was deaf and blind and SOOOO tiny!! So adorable. I witnessed it tripping in the game room and felt really bad for her. I don't think I ever stopped laughing since I got there and I meet some seriously interesting characters. Like this Jacob kid - he could do these CRAZY magic tricks AND he sliced a Cheeto completely in half, with a smooth cut and everything, with just a card. SO AWESOME. And then there was this kid named Sterling, legit. He totally did the WHOLE V for Vendetta monologue where V introduces himself AND did the whole "coconut/swallow" scene for Monty Python.

During a game of Manhunt when I was hiding, a car pulled up into Brett's massive lawn/drive way and Austin was a seeker. He screamed, "FEZ?" and then a voice said, "Maybe???" All I heard was Austin scream, "OMGGGGG!" and I sprinted from my hiding spot all while screaming, "FEZ?!?!" I touched the tree and Fez completely tackle hugged me screaming, "BARBARA MANATEEEEEE!!" God. It was amazing.

Austin and I had to return a hat to one of his mom's friends during the party, so we went together and blasted Lady Gaga out of the windows while belting out the lyrics! His truck is supremely high off the ground so it was like we were flying =] So much funnnnnnn

Then this kid Justin was playing the guitar and he sounded awesome! And Brett totally loved my birthday card I gave him and he even passed around my amazing creativity for everyone to witness and behold. I was totally modest during the situation! Not really, but still. It was great.

The food was great! There was jambalaya with shrimps in it, an amazing chocolate cake of frosting with chocolate cake on the inside, meatballssss. So much yummy things. They had sodassss and that reminds me! Within an hour or so of this party, this kid, I think his name was Evan?, hit a shaken up can of Pepsi that Brett also tore a little hole in and it totally flung towards me. There was trampoline too, but that was too intense for me to even contemplate! It was also really cold before the bonfire was built and apparently I am shorter than I was back in camp? I accused Kolton of just getting taller and he said he hasn't, so apparently I was taller then, for those who care.

Just the greatest party ever. So many awesome people all contained within a single household breeds fantastic fun and entertainment. I totally wish I could relive this night over and over again.

Oh, by the way, I haven't mentioned this yet, but it totally explains why I'm typing like this. I drank TWO, count 'em, TWOOOOOOOO cans of Mountain Dew and I never have regular soda. SO OMG I'M NOT EVEN TIRED.

But Fez is apparently moving which causes me to become really depressed, because he almost didn't even tell us, until me and Austin were about to leave! He's moving to California which is on the other side of the worlddddddd. Austin said we should totally road trip it one day and that'd be a blasty blast. We'd record the whole adventure and it'd be phenomenalllll. But anyway, Fez is having a party that entire weekend, I guess, so I'm definitely going to try to go, because I need more Fez before he moves! =( I got one picture with him that I know of.. I know people that went to the party have other pictures and Austin has one of us pickle hugging and it's so perfectly weird.

I find it funny that some of my longest friendships have bred from going to summer camp. One more reason of why cramming 30 teenagers in a portable is a good idea: you totally end up getting to know each other really well. We were probably the most obnoxious people at this party and I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I was pretty well accepted, despite being the one that nobody knew. Awesome party that consisted 10 hours of my day. I never wanna forget this day, because this is the day that worlds collided and an awesome baby was probably born. Not at the party of course, but still.

I'M SO HYPER THAT I NEVER WANT THIS BLOG TO ENDDDDDDDDDD!

Another note worth noting: we've established the new word for win, which I've already alluded to, but the word is "when" which sounds really similar but it's very different. I honestly think I inhaled some of those toxic fumes from the bonfire that Kolton was warning about, but seriously. My sense of humor was ROLLING tonight.

Kolton: "after all that hard work I put into that boat and now look at it?"
Me: "the tarp?"

"If a dog = an elephant, anything is possible!"

Fez: "Apparently there's a vibrator app on the Droid."
Me: "Hmmmmmmmmmm"
*everyone stares*
Austin: "Did you just go, 'Mmmmm?'"
Me: " I went Hmmmm.. but on another note, I happen to have a Droid.."
Austin & Fez: "You would!"
Me: "Why do you think I'm in such a good mood?!"
Austin: "Yeah, because you'd be super bitch otherwise!"

So much awesome conversation that I can't even begin to summarize this day/night to its full extent. 10 hours of sheer ecstasy and possibly 4 hours sniffing that damn fumes from the bonfire. I'm so good to go that I don't think I can sleep tonight. I don't even think I want to bathe. *monster voice* LET THEM BURNNNNNN. That's totally not what that kid Michael said, but his voice was great.

I almost beat Sterling at fooseball, which I haven't played in eons. And I watched Austin, Sterling, and this kid Chris play fooseball for probably a really, really long time. I also met this one girl named Sarah whose super awesome and was ALSO super hyper.

OMGGGGGGGGG. I thought of something super amazing to say and then it vanished from my brain and now I'm pissed! But then I remember that TYLER WATSON just got attacked by a spider and now my life is officially on top of the world and justice has been served. I'm starting to get a headache now, probably from the sugar rush and smoke. I BROKE STICKS to add to the fire! I felt accomplished. I also cleaned, like women do, at a party that I wasn't even hosting. Then again, I made a mess within 5 minutes of my being there, so it was probably really worth the effort to pick up after other people.

LONG POST SHORT: This party is the end all be all parties and I can't believe I could have been a part of such an amazing group of people all celebrating an amazing guy's birthday whose name is Brett Danger Parbus. You can't get much better than that. I love everyone that went, even those individuals I didn't really talk to. It wasn't because I was too cool to talk to you, but that I thought you were too cool to talk to me. Totes.

*done by 1:01 am!*

=)

So I got done spending the day with my cousins at my Mom's house. We played board games and everythinggggg. Garrett came down with the cousins, because for some reason, he should meet my Mom. Apparently, he already has, which causes my head to ache in more ways than one, considering he's SUCH a stereotypical boy that it's ridiculous how well he fits the profile of one.

Well, he would put my name into all of these weird categories and basically screwed me over during all of the games. Then he drops the college bomb on me that he might be considering going to FGCU. The last time I talked to him on FB he said he was going to a community college up in Bradenton, and now he changes his mind THAT much? Hard to believeeee.

My brilliant cousin, Megan, had one of her brightest moments ever. She thought the word "hooky" was another word for stripping. It was a total facepalm moment.

Meme Kind of Day

So there is so much stuff going on and on top of that college is happening and things will be due. I'm going to go bonkers from stress and excitement all bound together like a rubber band ball!! I have a 4-6 page paper to write for my Colloquium class, which is pass or fail and it's ultimately an opinion paper. He's even admitted to the fact that if you turn something in, you'll pass the paper, but he's giving feedback, so I wanna put forth my best effort to know what he would deem an "A" paper. This is all so I can tell how much I can slack on the papers, of course =)

AND on top of that this weekend and possibly next weekend are booked solid with planssssssss, which is exciting and stressful. I seem to be going home every single weekend just for the ease and the fact of who I'm hanging out with. Welp, tomorrow I'm going to be shopping and buying possible presents.. OR just killing time before noon, at which point in time I will be seeing Garrett and my cousins and my aunt and apparently my family thinks Garrett can handle meeting my MOM & PAP PAP. This is mind blowing stuff right here, especially considering what perverse things Garrett has been texting to me, but who am I to question the company of my cousins who live 100+ miles away from here!

AND then, I'm going to be willingly thrown into a social situation where I'm friends with maybe 3 other people at said event, when there's projected to be about 30+ there. Needless to say, the numbers are frightening to me, but I'm sure it'll be great. The 3 people that I do know are all amazing and funny, plus I have a fabulous sense of humor and will laugh at anything I deem to be hilarious. Which is a vast majority of topics, but still. It's also the fact I was invited via friend of the person whose throwing the party - I'd be much better off mentally if the actual host invited me and he probably didn't for good reason. I mean seriously, I only know 3 other people. But knowing that one of three really wanted me to go definitely sealed the deal on me attending =] I hope it will be oodles of funnnnnn

So on Sunday, I'll probably write my paper and do all my other work. BTW, what is constant and always happening like the ocean waves onto the shore and it can't be the ticking hands of a clock? WHY IS THE SONNET REWRITE SO DIFFICULT? Oh yeah, because it has to be modern and still maintain content while being creative. *head desk*

The internet is for porn :D

Entirely too many. I'm pretty sure if I spent the amount of time I'm online, outside and doing something, I'd be so stick thin and tiny that I'd be invisible. I can't live without the internet. It's my addiction, plain and simple. Facebook is my means of procrastination; checking my e-mail is a staple in my day; blogging has become a habit that I don't think I can break. I do so much things on the computer that I'd be stunted should I have to give it up forever.

LAST POST

For some strange reason, this is my 365th post and my first blog was on January 23rd. I'm so confused. I don't even.

I subject myself to all sorts of tortures throughout my daily life, such as wondering if I will be on time for a certain event or if my earliness shows a sign of desperation and inner anxiety. There are, however, a few handful of horrendous torture that I do not have direct control over. There are also some individuals who prey on my weakness and exploit it for their own satisfaction. Clearly, this blog is pointed at one person in particular and he very well knows who he is.

In other news, apparently Christian Bale is Demetrius from Midsum and Hermia is a submissive woman who acts like she's from the age of submissiveness and stupidity. Hippolyta is still as BAMF as ever, but should you mispronounce that name, I shall have to attack you via bow and arrow.

ALSO, our Shakespeare teacher is completely bonkers in a totally scatterbrained way, but it's funny and refreshing in a way. We talked about cocaine and how complicated meter and rhyme was during Shakespearean time. We have the task of rewriting a Shakespearean sonnet into modern language while still maintaining the meter and rhyme, which I am stoked for, but the directions of said project are so vague, yet clear that I'll do something wrong and fail.

You know, I had high hopes for my final blog and this is the note I leave on: failure, cocaine, spider attacks, and murder via archery. Well, I guess that's just a normal day in the life of Jessica. Looking back on my old blogs, I realize that the images don't appear anymore, which causes me to rage. WHY IS MY LAST OFFICIAL BLOG MADE OF SUCH RANDOM FAIL?!

I will definitely blog tomorrow, or at least up until Jan 23, which apparently puts me ahead a year? I don't know. Neither me nor my blog make very much sense.

Maybe someday, things will be different

"Buy a blank notebook. Draw a huge heart on the cover. Don't write anything negative in here. If you need another outlet, make a separate notebook. This one is all about love, personal growth & getting back up. Fill it with beautiful images, reaffirming thoughts & quotes. Write in it every day & each day write one thing you're grateful for in your life."

That could quite possibly be my next project. I'm tired of having negativity on my blogs, even if they appear to be few and far in between. I feel like making that sort of outlet for myself would be even better, although I'm not so sure about the whole putting images in it. I am, after all, a college student and I need to buy more computer ink as it is. Hm, I'll contemplate it for sure, though!

Would you be my fu-fu-fu-future love?

The sheer intensity of these upcoming months will soon take over my body and make getting A's in my classes extremely difficult. I have a jam-packed couple of months ahead of me with, I'm sure, many mini-adventures along the way.

In February, I will possibly be getting a new phone, because she decided to act COMPLETELY sucktastic and make texting a bitch, which it isn't normally. Options I am weighing are either a Blackberry or the iphone, which is coming to Verizon in Feb, apparently. All I really want is good picture taking ability, the ability to upload said pictures, and a phone that allows me to text/call without causing me to RAGE. I have never FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU'ed in my life until this night occurred. Also in February, I will be seeing West Side Story ♥ and I will be able to sing "Tonight, Tonight" completely, while being amazed at the sheer talent of the actors/actresses/techies/everyone involved.

In March, I will be going to HARRY POTTER WORLD FINALLY. Good God. I've been waiting for this moment my whole life! For three glorious days, I will be in Orlando, possibly with that red-headed fellow if he decides to actually go again and not act as a spoiler for the rides!

In April, I will be going to Tampa with Austin, who is incredibly amazing and so many other positive characteristics, invited me to go with him to the Monster Ball!!! :D That will be my first ever epic road trip solo with a friend and possibly over night adventure at hotel/motels/his truck/his grandma's house should the concert get out way late! I don't even know when it starts or what I'm going to wear. It's going to be FANTASTIC and they are floor seats too, so my feet will be dying, but it will totally be worth it. Run-on sentences are acceptable for this case.

[I just totally realized that the Monster Ball may or may not be during the Verot play weekend, which causes me to be INCREDIBLY DEPRESSED. I've been going all three nights since The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee!! I'm a disgrace to Ms. Day! I'm definitely going when I can though!!]

Things that have not been fully finalized, but they have been speculated: doing another movie get together to see Kung Fu Panda 2; going to MegaCon, which is apparently in March. Silly Tito thinks March = summer time; staying up in Bradenton, like I used to way back when; getting acceptable grades for this semester.

So, my line-up is pretty phenomenal and I can imagine people might be jealous, but I'd say this is only due to having amazing friends and family in my life =) I can only guesstimate that at the rate this year is going, it will only be exponentially better and more exciting. I'm ready for whatever curve-balls you will throw at me, Life! I'll get through it and grow stronger all in one swoop!

I find it completely ironic that since I am so close to fulfilling my quota of posts, I wanna blog multiple times in one day my full excitement and sheer joy. Even my most menial feelings long to be expressed and I'm so jittery and I don't know why! I'm being over-run by my endorphins and I don't know where they come from! I just get excited by little things, like recognizing someone's car and then that energy flow pours into all of the things I do from that point on, and then I feel like I'm about to burst. I don't know why I feel this way or if I'm "rebounding," but damn. What a feeling!! ♥

♥♥♥♥♥

Thank you for making my final hours of that sucky day and the brief few minutes of this new day completely amazing and full of laughter. It's people like you that honestly make everything better and I'm sure other people who get to come into contact with you will tell you the same thing. You're awesome, simple as that. If it wasn't for you, I'd be moping around my dorm with all of this rage inside me that I can't express, while I eat my poorly made pasta (I don't think I cooked it long enough because the rice was kinda hard? I was so upset that it didn't really matter to me). You didn't really ask why I was in such a bad mood and you even accepted my piss poor round-a-bout way I said it, which makes you phenomenal.

Thank you, Ice Cream Teen, for causing the whole experience to turn from awkward first date to incest to whatever you implied by "mutual friends", which was probably friends with benefits. Thank you, Ice Cream Dude, for supplying us a sample of what whipped air tastes like. Thank you, Ice Cream Place, for allowing us to sit in there for 2 hours while we basically caused a commotion in the corner, with which you rebuttled with sound effects of rape. It was extremely classy and much appreciated.

Thank you, Father Time, for letting the memories we shared still remain there, while new ones occur as well. I'm extremely happy that I ate ice cream/talked/laughed for 4 hours with one of the greatest guys ever, even if he wore a sketchy Panera glove and "that" happened, which made me bust up laughing and he got embarrassed, but it was cute.

Just thank you. Seriously. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted off of me and now I don't feel like going to sleep. I am extremely looking forward to April if I wasn't already, because this girl right here is going to the Monster Ball with her best "mutual friend" ever and it will surely be one of the greatest road trips I will have ever been on!!!!!! =]

Predominantly Music

Today is been a bit of a ho-hum day, where I haven't felt like accomplishing anything substantial or fulfilling. I have homework due for next week, consisting of reading Act 1 of Midsum and reading 3 chapters for Colloquium and writing in my environmental journal, but you know I didn't do any of that.

What did I do today? I'm not quite sure myself, seeing as how I'm pretty sure whatever time I spent away from the dorm or doing something at my dorm got canceled out by how much I've slept today. I haven't really eaten and for some reason, my stomach doesn't seem too upset with me. I don't feel like cooking anything and there's nothing at the dorm that makes my stomach scream for it. I don't feel like driving to obtain food from some fast food place, but at the same time I do, if only to listen to a CD that I've been listening to for 2 weeks now.

Doesn't seem very healthy to me, but c'est la vie, I suppose. For whatever reason my neck has been killing me, possibly because some bitter dead Asian is straddling my neck, like in that one movie which scared the crap out of me and made me fearful for when I experienced bodily pain for no reason. Watching Spongebob put me to sleep, which CLEARLY denotes a problem. I don't sleep during Spongebob - I watch with full attention and laugh uproariously.

I highly loathe days in which I feel like I have no purpose, like those of an amoeba. I'm sure they question their existence daily too. All I can say is thanks a bunch to whoever wished me to feel like I'm trudging through Hell, when I have no reason to feel that way. It's so entirely complicated yet simple at the same time - it really just boils down to a lack of motivation.

I blame one person in particular for the mood I'm in, but it makes no difference regardless, because now I'm just torturing myself.

Sweet baby Jesus, looking back on my old posts makes me sick.

The World Just Wants to Freak Me Out

(adorable pudgy bulldog to soothe my anger towards the world and its cosmos)

The posts are soon dwindling down to the last few and it makes me kind of sad. I almost don't want to look back at what I used to blog, because of times that have come and gone; the fact that I know 2010 wasn't the happiest year of my life, due to emotional shit. But right now, I have something very important to discuss, because my fiery temper is not cutting it with being a "newly mandated" Cancer.

The change is bullshit. I don't care if it's been occurring for X amount of years or since the beginning of time. It's dumb. There is such a thing as semblance and order in the universe, which btw adding a 13th astrology sign throws off the balance. This is a complete stretch, but I'm glad Kyo gets his shot at being in the zodiac, but please, don't upset the balance of astrological signs. I read a description of Cancer, and while the description may fit me, to some extent, I have always embodied myself as a Leo.

My whole life I had such Leo pride and now I feel like it's a lie. If this "new" system only applies for kids born in 2009 or whenever, I'll feel like a liar if I tell my child, "No, I'm a Leo, not a Cancer." It's asinine to change something that's been around THAT long. And wtf, since when do people in SEPTEMBER deserve the Leo symbol? I always associated Leos with summer and September is clearly not summery, unless you live in Florida. No offense to some of the people born in September, but seriously? It's like adding salt to my injured pride.

I LOVED the fact that I was both a Sheep in the Chinese zodiac and a Leo in the Western astrology. I felt like I was something special - that I embodied two corresponding halfs to create something badass and awesome. The timid, creative nature of Sheep and the loud, uproarious Leo were what I defined myself as. I'll be damned if this new symbol, despite reminding me of Othello, ruins my inner turmoil and peace.

So GTFO new astrology, because I will sit on my porch and shoot you should you step on my lawn.

Descending into Madness? This post seems to think so.

I'm almost certain that this post is going to pale in comparison to my previous post and thus I do not wish to even post any sort of post in fear of ruining my credibility of awesome post writer.

Post.

BTW, when do you know pasta is done? My roommates abandoned me to go shoe shopping and they are cooking chicken noodle soup and I have to randomly stir the pot to make sure the noodles don't stick. They clearly are not sticking and because I don't have a laptop, I can't sit near the pot. I usually lose track of time on the computer, which isn't good. I'll never know if the soup is done! Why am I soup inept? Because I microwave my fooooooooooood.

The stove is a cornucopia of uncertainty. All of the buttons and the dials - so many different combinations I could go with and I'd still probably end up being wrong. I mean, you even have to set the timer on the oven manually yourself. With the microwave that's the only command, but the stove is like the bitchy sister you wish would just do something when you ask her to the first time. It's not like the food packages are any more reliable either. I've often experienced issues with the bag to the oven/stove. I'll put Totino's in the stove for the alloted 10 minutes or whatever menial time they require and when I pull them out, they are still cold. Why does the packaging lie? I'll tell you why. The packaging people are the bitchy sister's best friend who follows whatever she tells them to do.

What a messed up industry we have when honesty and hard work is put on the back burner.

Oh boy, am I on a roll today or what!?

I Got You.... Babe?

(OH BOY, does this picture send my mind into a flurry of odd images, just because of today.)
"Get your ass over here, Minnie, you saucy minx!"
"Donald, quit being an asshole! Goofy has something to say to you."

So today was incredibly epic even if I spent the day with my Vitriolic Best Bud.

[God damn it, I spilled salsa on my sock! WTF!]

Back to the topic at hand, I was very iffy on how today would go. I mean, 6 hours of solo time with Tito? That's like some sort of torture isn't it? Regardless, I will admit to being wrong and my initial thoughts were just due to my extreme prejudice against him.

I learned Alot today and gained probably a billion inside jokes with him. I've also accepted that when I attempt to make plans, they never work out, because I didn't get to see Eileen and Hannah todayy :C

BUT I managed to accomplish Alot today, like creating an entire ferority, learning what forms of tomato are pleasing to the Watson, engaging in legendary coke bottle light saber duels in which limbs were torn and stomachs pierced, learning that I probably murdered Tito in a past life and then the Muslims killed me, realizing everything is a phallic symbol, hearing that he was also a morbidly obese tiger who consumed pandas, seeing more gingers than I ever have before in my life, causing Tito to practically choke on his food from intense laughter which would have led to his imminent demise, watching soda bottles reproduce, taking a Shakespeare class that runs on the Rule of Three, riding in the Watson mobile for the first time ever, and somehow managing to keep up with hours of conversations with uproarious laughter while my face was hurting and people were silently judging us.

The first play we're reading is A Midsummer Night's Dream, which excites and thrills me beyond all comprehension, probably more than most plays should excite most normal college students. Clearly this day has been made of win and every Tuesday has to compete with this one from here on out. High standards have been set, but then again I can say, with utmost confidence, that most likely these standards will be met every Tuesday.

This day must have been so awesome because it was 1-11-11 today. I didn't fully comprehend this, because every single year there's some sort of phenomenon such as this, and my mind gets entirely too boggled.

Oh, the newest Pokemon is named Grumbles - his main form of attack is beating you with his cane and grumbling very loudly when you step on his lawn. Figured everyone should be cautious - Grumbles is quite the curmudgeon, much like Tyler Watson.

A Goodbye of Sorts

I love this song so much ♥ It's beautiful, simple, and obviously relate-able. It's also soothing as hell, plus there's no shame in admitting, but it makes me feel better when I can sing along with it while I drive. I'd like to think I sound like her, but then again I was never really a main character in any musicals. On a serious note though, if I had to describe how I was feeling, this would be one of the songs that I'd say. I want this song to settle in with you, dear readers, though, and then I will expose you to the next one at a later date.

It's Good to be Back *Sarcasm Mode*

10 more posts, including this one, until I break 365? Cool beans.

The line from the Space Bag commercials keeps cycling through my head as I'm slowly unpacking my belongings. I literally have "too much stuff and not enough space." The space that I do have is clogged and littered with empty bags and half-filled water bottles in case I'm dying of thirst. Lord knows how many spiders have manifested under my pillow or within my closet, but I still entrust my life to live in the dorms.

Literally no sooner than when I typed that message, I saw something twitch behind my computer screen and lo and behold, a spider was fucking playing hide-and-seek in my blinds. He's been murdered, but his presence still has me jittery and wondering if, indeed, there will be spiders under my pillow now.

I am so sorry I even tried questioning Fate. Here's to an amazing night of sleep!!

A post in which Jessica rants... again

So on Dr. Oz the other day, probably some ill-forgotten Wednesday or I'm actually talking about yesterday and I refuse to acknowledge that fact, he was reveling 6 secrets that husbands keep from their wives. This is obviously something that women question about and something that I was curious about as well.

While some of the secrets were no brainers, such as "They think they are smarter than their wives" and "They wish their wives made more money," one of the secrets really bothered me. It was also the very first secret revealed as well and apparently they asked men who these secrets apply to to hold the signs.

First secret was the fact that men fantasize about other women while having sex. When this was revealed, the husband openly admitted in front of his wife that he does this and the wife said they had discussed this before in the past and that she fantasizes about other men as well. Cue Jessica's rant to come into play!!

How is this okay? Call me old fashioned, but I can't comprehend this "secret." If both men and women are fantasizing about other people while they are married, what's the point of marriage? Another one of the secrets was the fact that men masturbate in secret. That's semi-reasonable at least. When you're 40 or so, I can imagine you aren't going at it like rabbits anymore and instead it might be a one day a week event. However, the fantasizing thing is something I can't get passed.

One of the statements made after that secret was revealed was that "men and women are not created for monogamous relationships." If this was the case, why did those relationships even start? Why don't we just all have open relationships where we can do whoever we want with no stigma attached to it? Oh, yeah, that's right. Because it's a bunch of crock. Another statement was that "men have a more powerful sex drive due to the billions of sperm being produced daily and they need a release. Men are desirous of other women but won't act on it, so they use having sex with their wives while imagining their wives' sister as a means to cope." O rly. I'm sorry but if my husband was having issues with wanting to bang my sister, I would not want to have sexual relations with him. Ever. Chances are I wouldn't even be married to him.

I don't think feelings of "true love" gives the husbands in that instance a free pass. "Oh, you wish you could have sex with my sister? Why don't you take all of your things and move out too?" I'd probably be the wife from Hell, but I really don't think I could handle that or even look at it as "natural." I don't even care if they wouldn't act on their desires in actuality, I'd feel like some sort of floozy if I was just satisfying my husband's inner desire to bang whatever female he has sexual feelings towards. Seriously. What the hell is the world coming to when fantasizing about someone else is considered healthy and normal and not a sign of warning?

Maybe I'm weird or strange, but it's really unsettling. I don't get the point of marriage anymore, I guess. I just don't understand why people decide to tie the knot if the knot doesn't mean anything except a wedding band and some flimsy promise than is getting broken thousands of times a year. It's disgusting to me.

Maybe I'm also bizarre for not having fantasies about male celebrities. I've never imagined doing anything with Johnny Depp, even though I will admit to finding him attractive. It's just weird. I don't get the point of fantasizing about someone I could never hope to have - maybe that's the appeal? I'm not quite sure.

Dr. Oz definitely instilled in me the incentive to get married.

Show Me Your Teeth

No sooner than when I blogged that previous blog, I was semi-invited to go to Lady Gaga's concert tour. Semi-invited, because I'm 2nd roster, but the thought alone made me feel so good that my negativity was wiped clean for that day. I'd be lying if I said I didn't wanna go, but I want the original party to go, because they've probably been looking forward to it even longer than I have :D

Either way, I definitely want to go to another concert at some point or maybe see a play at the Mann =P I wish Sweeney Todd was in town again!! Then again, looking at ticket prices for plays and concerts makes me change my mind. $88 dollars minimum to go see West Side Story?! Holy crappppp, but then again, maybe it's because it's West Side Story that it's priced that way. One day, I will go!

Even though it's been like 5 years since I stopped dancing, I would probably give anything to be in the Nutcracker again! It was definitely a once in a lifetime experience that I got to experience 3 times, so I guess I'm cursed for 3 lifetimes to be unable to perform in it again =P I loved the costumes and meeting actual professionals, even if they reeked of cigarettes and powdered flesh. The rehearsals and practices and knowing I was part of an actual Barbara B Mann ballet =) The fact I got to skip school to go to rehearsals and the school couldn't do anything about it - I felt like a rock-star, like I was actually someone meaningful and worthwhile. Maybe that makes me weird for taking such satisfaction in knowing I'm necessary and special, but I'm pretty sure a majority of people are also that way.

BTW, how kick-ass would it be to have that room in the picture? It's my dream room for sure, minus the horse picture, but even that I could get over if I could actually live in that room. Ah well, I'll continue living in my dream world and hope one day when I own a house, I can have my bedroom look like this =]

You Heard It Here First

"I want women -- and men -- to feel empowered by a deeper and more psychotic part of themselves. The part they're always trying desperately to hide. I want that to become something that they cherish."

"Trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it's broken, but you can still see the crack in that mother fucker's reflection."

"I want you to reject any person who has ever made you feel like you're not good enough, or thing enough, or pretty enough, or can't sing well enough, or that you won't do anything great in your life, cause you just remember - you're a god damn super star."

"Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you're wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn't love you anymore."

"When you make music or write or create, it's really your job to have mind-blowing, irresponsible, condomless sex with whatever idea it is you're writing about at the time. "

"I used to walk down the street like I was a fucking star... I want people to walk around delusional about how great they can be - and then to fight so hard for it every day that the lie becomes the truth."

"I had a boyfriend who told me I’d never succeed, never be nominated for a Grammy, never have a hit song, and that he hoped I’d fail. I said to him, ‘Someday, when we’re not together, you won’t be able to order a cup of coffee at the fucking deli without hearing or seeing me."

^ All said by Lady Gaga and I'd be lying if I wasn't trying my damnedest to believe in any of these quotes as something that I could possibly become.

I would love to become so driven about my passion/career that men didn't mean anything anymore; to believe so wholeheartedly in my amazing qualities that I could move mountains; to be so strong even when there are people who do nothing but bring you down; to spit in the faces of the disbelievers and take chances; to accept my bad qualities as something unchangeable and perfectly normal.

My new year's resolution as of today at 2 pm:

• New year, new me. To hell with the ones who left and are gone, I'm moving towards a better future. I'm going to be the best version of me I can possibly be. Nobody's gonna love me as much as I do, so until I can find someone worthy to walk next to me, I'll walk alone.

Journey in Bradenton!

Since we are on the topic of epic adventures in Bradenton, here's another one for those individuals living vicariously through my clumsy stupidity.

Maybe 2 blocks away from my cousins' house is a park of sorts decked with ancient swings and that turn-a-bout circle that spins - you'd think there'd be a better name for it, but unfortunately I never learned the name if there even is one. This park lies near a run-off stream that runs underneath a little bridge that cars will drive on to get from one area of their neighborhood to the next. This stream also runs through a forest like area. Considering I'm referring it to "forest like," that primarily means it's not an actual forest, but more of an area where trees like to congregate. I know what forests look like. *Side glances to next door*

Well, Megan and I decided to walk to this little park to escape from the house of testosterone and have fun playing outside. My age is irrelevant, because outdoor recreation is great, but I was perhaps 13-14. Apparently, I either left the house not wearing shoes at all or I ended up wearing someone's flip flops. Considering how ginormous my feet are, it was most likely one of the boys' flippy floppies that I stole. The boys ended up following us once they realized we were trying to make a stealthy escape and God forbid, the womens roam the world solo. They end up getting bored with the ancient playground and opted to padiddling in the stream - I honestly have no idea where this stream came from or if it was like a run-off for the waste in the neighborhood. These are some areas of interest that I haven't explored due to my delicate psyche.

As babysitter for the cousins, I went over to where the boys were to monitor them. This led to that and eventually Megan and I were trudging through this stream with the water up to our shins, while the boys were leading an expedition. Megan kept losing her flip flops, so I gave up on the journey and opted to just go back to the house to actually swim in a semi-sanitary body of water called their pool. As we were attempting to find a proper exit, Megan screamed that there was a spider on the ground. My mama bear instincts flew in and I murdered the daylights out of it. Swiftly, we were on our way back and we enjoyed swimming, until the boys came back and ruined our lives.

If you're reading this blog and it's anti-climatic, you haven't gotten to the best part yet. Those events wouldn't truly be known until hours later, maybe even the next day, but those events clearly would come back to haunt me. I woke up and noticed that my foot felt unusually hot yet cold to the touch, a feeling incredibly rare for summer time weather, in which frost bite is highly unlikely. I throw the blanket off of my body and look at my foot. There was a MASSIVE bump on the top of my foot with a single little bite at the center of it all. I flipped out.

Could this be the revenge from that spider? In its last moments of life, did it attack my naked foot? Could there have been something in that cursed stream? Is there a leech inside of my body inching its way up my body to eat my intestinal organs? Is this just some West Nile mosquito attack? Maybe Megan injected silicone in my foot to give me more of a foot complex. My imagination was quite colorful.

My aunt, thoroughly concerned for my safety if only because my dad would kill her if I died, took intense medical precautions and used new-age health techniques: she outlined the bite with a Sharpie marker. Yes. She doodled on my foot in the name of scientific discovery. I was told if the bite grew within a day I would be able to go to a hospital to get it looked at. Needless to say, I was entirely disappointed when the bite wasn't swollen anymore after a day's rest. I felt like my life needed extra drama and that an intense trip to the ER would have made my life more complete.

Bouncy, Trouncy, Flouncy, Pouncy

One of my many life experiences consisted of having a sleepover on a trampoline, just like this image above. However, there were more than 5 people on it, at least that's what I've gathered from this image that it was only 5 people there. I believe our grand total was around 7 people, 2 of which were like 10 year olds or possibly younger... it wasn't as creepy as it sounds I promise.

I was spending a week up in Bradenton with my cousins during the summer time and one of their neighbors invited us over to spend the night on the trampoline. A major light and siren sounded in my head that said, "Bad idea, Jess." Despite my better judgment, my cousin Megan convinced me it would be a fun idea, and since I had to go in order for 3 of my cousins to go, I decided to take one for the team and just go with it.

I had to borrow a sleeping bag from my aunt, which was surprising because they happened to have multiple sleeping bags more numerous than the members of the household. I suppose they were prepared for this moment since the dawn of time. We trekked over there and set up our bags; the host even brought out a little DVD player, so we were watching Hot Rod. To be honest, I wasn't really watching it as much as I was listening to it. The screen was incredibly tiny, because I'm sure this was when movable and usable DVD players were extremely rare and just being released.

A major reason I wasn't watching the movie is because of what will eventually lead to the horrific events I found in the morning. I was too busy huddling in my sleeping bag due to how cold it was outside and the fact the mosquitoes were in full force. I stayed outside the entire night, except for at one point when I went to the bathroom and retrieved more blankets because I was shivering. Upon officially waking up, I realized my legs and arms were COVERED with bug bites and my body reacts so cutely to the bites. Whenever I'm bit by something, specifically ants but it includes mosquitoes to a more mild degree, I swell up like a marshmallow. You can just imagine how I looked like and needless to say, I lathered up on the Cortizone and refrained from touching my skin until they healed.

The only good part of this whole experience was seeing the sun slowly rise up in the sky, to see the color of the sky change as time passed by. Believe me, I was awake for probably 2 hours before my cousin, Megan, woke up. I didn't wanna leave before she woke up, due to my oath as a family member to never leave a member behind. It was one of my most peaceful experiences ever, even accounting the fact I was being attacked by blood-thirsty insects.

Structured, Functional, and still Unexplainable

Holding onto our past as a sort of building block,
Filling in the gaps of my broken heart.
Cementing my lukewarm feelings towards you,
Could "you & me" be a possibility?

Sitting in the same space as you has me on pins and needles,
Grasping for something more tangible than friendship.
Fidgeting for the right words to say,
Is she all you can talk about?

Wondering if there's any hope for you and me,
Wanting so badly for that missing puzzle piece to mend my scars.
Succumbing to my darkest desires,
Should I go out on a limb for you?

Looking at you as if my eyes are unclouded,
Admiring your Cheshire Cat smile,
Praying for the courage to get that smile closer to mine.
God, I want to kiss you.

Careening off the side of a cliff,
Watching my emotions ebb and flow,
Is it better to jump into the unknown,
or to sit and wait, like I always have, and never know?

You make me feel things I haven't felt in awhile

Brief synops of the day:

• Gifts from Santa that he accidentally delivered to the wrong house ♥
• Spongebob!!!
• Foreshadowing birds
• 2 WAY young boys sneaking into movie and getting kicked out by the ushers
• who uses scissors for that????
• LesYay/FoeYay?
• I am the Swan Queen!!
• OH MY GOD WHAT IS GOING ON
• .............................
• the answer is always adrenaline
• apparently happy ending = me according to some person
• my father's brain age when it comes to English is 70 according to his DS game
• if I was being kidnapped in front of Tito, my puppy, he would just sit there and stare at me like it was my fault

there's one more little tidbit I have yet to mention: spending time with people laughing and freaking out over the movie or Spongebob episodes makes life worthwhile, even if you end up getting a massive headache from the clusterfuck you've just experienced and possibly experienced a slight heart attack.

I should probably outline my blogs that way they make sense =/

As someone who has had a weird sort of year for 2010, where I'm not quite sure how I feel about it, I'm excited for the new year. I look forward to the new experiences, whether good or bad, because we've all made it this far and have gone through our own personal hells.

If I was to make a resolution, which I haven't because I don't know what I want or what would be something worth making one and keeping it, I would probably resolve to stay the way I am. My parents and I were discussing what literary or film character we resemble - naturally I picked Belle from Beauty & the Beast, but I also thought of perhaps Sailor Jupiter, but I already discussed my similarities with her in a previous post. I picked Belle, because I feel like I have the most in common with her: the pony tail, the love of books, the stubbornness, the emphasis on family, and reckless behavior for what I believe is right. I'm also going to attempt being more overt, because I have no reason to censor myself for others' benefits.

If anything that would be the hardest thing, due to the fact that I think of others before myself. In a world where it's dog-eat-dog, I'm tired of getting hurt by people who don't care about me as much as they say they do. If I wanted pain, I'd just jump into a fire or sit in a room by myself ruing over my issues. I'm tired of putting forth so much effort with people just to be met with cold stares and to be bad mouthed behind my back. I wanna purge the negatives and gain the positives back, to be the best person that I can possibly be while guarding myself from those who want nothing more than to tear other people down.

There's honestly nothing more revolting than knowing people live to see others suffer in order for their own personal enjoyment. I hope all of those that may be reading this blog stay strong against those people and I wish everyone the strength to follow whatever goals or resolutions they may make despite the adversity. I genuinely wish you all the best year possibly and I hope you all stay safe on life's incredible journey =)