Megalong - it's like a dinosuar, only with words

Let me paint a picture of the memorable events pertaining to today:

My day starts off nice - I slept well, although I had many weird dreams where Tito got arrested for shoplifting a cup and got TACKLED by the huge female cop, there were other weird dreams but I've forgotten them.

Then my day plummets into me being in a depressive state and not doing anything for basically 3 hours. I did watch Spongebob and even that did not cure my depression.

I then left around 3 to set out to find two books I need to read by Monday & Wednesday - for reader's clarification, I had planning on waiting to buy them until the weekend because I have coupons for Borders and I like being cheap when buying books. So, I drive to the Borders at Gulf Coast Town Center. They don't have either of the books. GO FIGURE. But that wasn't all that occurred when I went to Borders. You see, I have Zumba at 6 on Friday nights, so I dressed in my work out attire, which consisted of black sweat pants, black sneakers, and a black tank top like thing. Point is, I'm wearing all black. I'm sprint walking my way around on the off chance I beat another person from getting the book. There's a lady walking in front of me on the sidewalk just before the entrance, but she was digging through her purse while walking. Very ineffective when trying to get somewhere, btw. So I try walking past her on the right with what little room she gave me. Upon feeling my presence, she FLEW to the far left side of the sidewalk like I was going to rape and pillage her. I gave her a weird look as if to say, "why would I rob you? I'm on a mission!" Then shortly after, there was a black security guard watching me, like I looked suspicious. THERE'S NOTHING SUSPICIOUS ABOUT PURCHASING A PLAY FOR YOUR LITERATURE CLASS, unless that is you're wearing an outfit that may suggest you will kill everyone and be a Viking.

I sped my way to Barnes and Noble to search for my books, and HUZZAH I found one. The one that needs to be read by Wednesday. F M L. I have a limited time, since I'll need to be able to secure my spot at Zumba and be able to drive there without feeling rushed. I contemplate on going to Books a Million by Best Buy. I go there. NOTHING. At least, I couldn't find it, because BAM is so far into the past they don't have computer kiosks that I can type at - I'd have to ask someone to help me, and I had no time for that.

I leave and go to Zumba.

After Zumba, I'm so tired that I start making my way back to my dorm, because now not only do I look like a unibomber but now I reek of sweat and failure. I get near the airport when I realize, "SHIT I NEED THAT BOOK!" Dear reader, I couldn't buy the book tomorrow because it is one of my roommates birthdays, and I am so messed up in the head that I cannot do anything but stay at dorm on the off chance birthday girl wants me to. MOVING ON. I turn around and drive all the way down Treeline to attempt to find The Forum which has another Books a Million. I find it, and I look up and down the aisles for a "theatre/drama" section, which Barnes & Nobles so politely has. I had to subject myself to customer service to be told that said book isn't available, but that they would love to order it for me so it comes in the following week. No, that's not what I want at all, sweet lady who has done nothing wrong to me except not have the book I desire and need.

At this point, I'm hungry and contemplating on stopping to eat. Then Ricky the genius texts me about a bookstore on Summerlin that could have the book. I put aside my desire to go to the Naples Borders to go to this unknown bookstore that I never ended up finding. I'm stressed and tired of driving, so it was not a good time to be associating with me. Today has just been a day of avoidance because Jessica will cut you.

It's around 8 at this point and I'm starting to question why I'm still out given all of the other reasons above. Then I realize, "I never got a birthday present for her. Should I give her one? I don't know her that well. What would I give her? What if the book is bought by someone on Saturday and when I look on Sunday, they give me the run around because they could order it for me by Christmas?" I stress myself out into going all the way to Naples on a wild goose chase that I feared would be a waste of gas.

Ricky calls the Naples Borders to reserve my book (more on this soon). I'm driving on 41, and I'm like, "I don't even know where Tamiami Trail is.. Isn't it another name for 41? What if it's not?" I almost turn on Alico Road to get to FGCU to shower and eat dinner like a normal person after working out, when I realized 41 had turned into Tamiami somewhere along the way. I continue straight, not realizing that Naples is 16 miles away from Coconut Point, a mall center that I hadn't seen for 30 minutes of me driving on Tami/41 hybrid.

I find Naples Borders while it's pitch black outside and I had to do very many illegal things in order to turn into it. Needless to say, I did not want to be here very long. I walk to the cashier and say, "I think my boyfriend reserved a book for me." She stares at me blankly. "My name is Jessica?" She furrows around the books behind the counter and after telling her that the title of it is August Osage County, she reveals that no such book is reserved. Way to fail, Ricky. She points me to the Literature section and said, "The author's last name is Letts and that's the section it is in." Well, at least she gave the affirmative that the book exists in the store. I walk to the section furiously scanning the L's to find my play I've been scouring for. There. Is. No. Book. I get concerned. Maybe, she sent me to the wrong section. I stand there staring at the spot it should have been nuzzled between, wondering if God truly hates me or that maybe this is my dead computer getting back at me for the verbal abuse. Then I start wandering the store, angrily texting Ricky that he didn't reserve the book and that he's made of fail as well. He assures me that he did, but did I want to look like the crazy girl demanding the cashier to look AGAIN because she's clearly blind? No. No, I didn't.

I wander the store, probably looking lost and confused like a child who got separated from their parent at the supermarket. I was determined though. I found a free kiosk that normal people can access. The kiosk said to go to the Literature section for the book. I thought maybe because the kiosk said to go that the book would appear there. Unfortunately it didn't and my trust in computers slowly declines. I stand in the Literature section, looking around, hoping that this is a joke and she'll have my book, and we could laugh about this over some food, because I'm way too hungry to be standing right now.

I then hear the lady call me over and she says that she found it - I'm so overjoyed and I find out that they reserved the book under Ricky's name, because a male called. "We expected a guy to come here!" says some teenager as an excuse. Apparently, they assumed Ricky wanted to buy it in the morning, whether or not he did, I wanted my dumb book then and there. I purchase the book. The lady asks if I'm a Borders member, which I so happily agreed, because this means I'm one step closer to being able to de-stress. She asks if I have coupons as well. Why yes, I just so happen to have a coupon perfect for this opportunity. I dig in my purse - I flashback to that woman at the Gulf Coast Borders - there's no coupon in my purse. I probably had the saddest look on my face, because the lady asked what the coupon was for and how long it was good for. My correct answers allowed me to use the coupon, which made me smile. Things were turning around.

I still don't have a present though. There's nothing worse than not getting a present for someone when they expect one. It also sucks to get someone a present and then they think, "Why did she give me this? I don't even know her, like at all." I'm torn. I stand in Borders, wondering if this is the location for the perfect present - after 10 minutes of staring, I leave to go to dorm.

As I'm driving and my phone keeps beeping, because it needed to be charged, I get an idea surge and I suddenly have the best gift idea in my head. I decide that I need to go to Target. I passed 2 Targets on my way out of Naples. I didn't go to a different Target besides the one at Gulf Coast, because I didn't want to get disoriented when I walked into an unfamiliar Target layout. It's 9 and I told my roommates that I'd be home by then & clearly I'm not. Once I get to Target, I power walk through to get my necessary items. I stand in an aisle for five minutes contemplating what kind of paper I wanted to buy. I go to purchase said items and I get 4 teenagers who appeared younger than I. One of the girls stood obnoxiously close to me, the gay friend kept talking about cupcakes and Facebook, another girl was crying for some reason, and the last girl walked off into the purse section, probably to shoot some cocaine or something.

I'm home at my dorm, and I feel like I'm in the clear. I devour my breaded chicken and rice meal in record time as I type up this blog. Only bad thing is, the night is just starting and I would pick a crazy handmade present when I'm really sleepy.

I'm sorry if the tenses in this blog make no sense - it's been a long, stressful, depressing, angry, hateful day.