Oh, look, I've got a doctorate

so that automatically makes me better than you uneducated heathens who should bow to my every whim and sense my presence, because I have a doctorate, which makes me fucking special.

I hate people. So so much.

It's one thing to use manners, but if you're gonna be a bitch and wonder why you're not getting respect, I think you know the answer.

Who knew getting a doctorate meant you were so much better than everyone else that you didn't have to be polite? Can't wait til I get to be an asshole to people trying to get an education... oh wait, I wouldn't do that, because I'm not a raging bitch.

This damn school seems to be littered with all sorts of these people and this is when a Death Note would be all sorts of useful.

But seriously, when did we just throw manners out the window? When did we throw out the word "please" and insert commands instead? When did we just start standing idly, glaring at people in our way, rather than just saying, "excuse me?" Is this an old lady nurse trait? I've yet to meet an older female teacher in this program who doesn't have a giant stick up their ass.

I hate that every day I realize how shitty people are and how horrible they are in all spectrums. It's not just the youth that's the problem - it's all these old people too. It's a never ending cycle of assholes. I'll admit to not being perfect and that my temper gets the better of me and that sometimes seeing naive freshmen makes me want to punch them in the face. I get that. But these ladies, people who are getting PAID to teach and PAID to provide us the means to succeed, need to calm down, take a step back, and remember how they felt back in the day when they were in our position.

Do not preach to me about how children these days act like they are entitled to things, when you yourself act like you're entitled to respect. No. That's something you have to earn. Our whole grade in this program is trying and we're struggling. Is it our fault? Maybe. But having teachers and faculty that genuinely do not care, treat us like idiots, and fail to empathize with our situation... that doesn't help anything & that's not even being a good example of what being a nurse is all about.

Progress

Given the comments you guys left and considering I hadn't read them, I find it kind of funny :P

He kissed my face like 50 times- no making out or actual kissing, just pecks, all on his side, because I'm too much of a chicken shit to do that. But I said bye to him like 40 times and gave him super long hugs!

Oh, and I gave him Christmas presents :D A beanie with the life mushroom from mario on it, which is also reversible! and I gave him a chibi Spongebob! His [Spongebob's] eyes were even chibi styled too :D he put that on his bed and he wore the hat the entire time I was over there.

I made him freak out though because we're standing in the parking lot in the middle of the road hugging, when I pulled away and quickly put my forehead against his and asked him, "hey, how much taller are you than me?" He pulled back slightly and said, "wait, what?!" and I said, "I wanna compare heights" so he stood there quietly (SHOCKER! :P) and he's maybe 3 inches taller than me.

Oh, and he was wearing a Death the Kid shirt :D When I told him I started watching it, he got all excited!

But almost even more important than that was I told my mom and she's supportive of it, since I know my dad is going to be a curmudgeon about everything. She actually convinced me to get him the presents, because I kept talking myself out of it. I thought that maybe he already had the beanie, so I almost didn't get that. I bought the Spongebob compulsively, because it's SPONGEBOB. Clearly, I need life to give me a shove before I do anything, which is sad.

I even texted him saying I got him presents and he kept saying I didn't have to. I felt silly, so even just giving him his present, I almost ran off before he even looked at it. I didn't wanna find out if my thought was wasted, because I didn't even consider that maybe he hadn't owned it. So, clearly, I have a long way to go.. if I go that route.

Soon though. Maybe. Perchance.

Super awkward fun time: when we're hugging, it's like intimate hug, so I kind of.. yeah and his shorts weren't of thick material.. and we're both nearly the same height so in close proximities.. yup. Not sure if he knew or maybe he knew and was doing that on purpose, but either way. meannnnnnnnnn

I dream of a day where I'll post quality things.

*edit at 1220am!*

He just texted me saying "theres something I wanted to ask you before you left but i kinda got nervous lol. Ill ask you when I next see you lol"

I'm texting him now and he's like, "you probably already know what I wanted to ask too, don't you?"

So.. needless to say, but I'm going to say it anyway, the next time I hang out with Blayn is gonna be srs bsns and wouldn't it be funny if it happened to be December 16th? I might quite possibly start dating on the very day that my life changed for the better just last year. crazy~ but I'm obviously gonna say all the things I have to say before I even answer, so the poor guy is gonna hate me by the end of it!

Because I'm silly and myself, is it weird that I don't think I'd date him, because I don't think he's serious about me or the potential of this getting a title?

Yeah? I thought so. The things I think about on a Saturday night when my finals are looming over me, but it's a legitimate thought. I've never seen him be serious about anything before and I'd rather not get hurt if it goes horribly wrong. He's liked me before, but decided to go back out with his ex - I don't think I'd be able to handle that. I don't want to be an after thought or a rebound. I want to be someone's first choice.

He makes me happy and laugh and we have a lot in common, but I guess I'm too scared for the consequences that I probably won't do anything. No one wants to date someone who can't hang out with you, because of classes. I just think I'm no good with relationships, because I can't find a balance. Plus, the last thing I wanna do is be the reason that someone is sad or gets hurt, because I can't do all the stereotypical things that are involved in a relationship.

And here I am, making a blog post about something that hasn't even happened, all because of ONE peck on the cheek. Look at my life. Look at my choices.

Randomly decided to reflect on the fact I was flailing and spazzing out in the computer lab on campus about ALL the manga/anime characters and everything that is Japan yesterday instead of studying, like I ended up doing all last night and this morning.

I actually grabbed the computer at one point and accidentally turned it off, because I got too excited.

My life has never made much sense and my priorities never seem to be in the right places, but boy, do I have fun along the way :D

I'm past the point of knowing what's going on in my life

So this is really bad, but that guy on Tumblr posted pictures of himself when he dressed up. I'm not quite sure WHY he dressed like that, but it was the long sleeve, button up, tie, vest, dress pants, plus douche hat combo. He posted, "I'm sorry, but is it still considered vanity when you look this good?" and usually that sort of cocky behavior is a major turn off, but he actually looks really good, plus one of the pictures was him smirking and, boy, do I love smirks. *cough*GREED*cough*

Anyway.

I, and a million other girls who follow his blog or troll around in the "I'm sexy and I know it" tag (hyperbole), commented and I said, "it's not a bad thing!! it's never wrong to flaunt attractiveness :D"

I didn't expect him to say anything about it and what does this guy do? He sends me an ask saying, "You think I'm attractive? Really? :) Thank youuu. That's really sweet. And, since I like to return favors, I thought you should know that I think you are very attractive as well. :)"

ALL of my recent blogs have been about guys.. and different ones at that. My ovaries really do need to calm down.

*edit*

My ovaries exploded to the point that I've died and there's no possible way of bringing me back. He called my smile perfect. It's a good thing he's not living in Florida.

YOU GUYS.

I think that was actually a legitimate date - from 1:30ish to just now.

We watched The Muppets and it was really cute! At the end, he tickled me and I fell over and he just held me like that, plus he lent me one of his hoodies, because I was cold :)

Then after movie when he took me back home, I was trying to get my keys out and my keys fell apart for some reason, so I freaked out and went to grab them, ran into him as he was walking in front of me, he caught me, I apologized, he held me there, and then when I said goodnight, he gave me a kiss on the cheek.

I AM INCAPABLE OF EVEN-ING.

I'll stop ranting and raving when this guy stops being perfect. He bought me a spongebob huggy pillow and spongebob fleece blanket for Christmas when I didn't even know we were exchanging presents. Then he sends me this cutesy ass picture when I said I thought it was cute, so I could make it his contact picture.

Then we quoted Spongebob for 3 hours and then this happened:

Him: "So who would everyone be if we casted them as the characters?"

Me: "you're Spongebob.. hands down!"

Him: "So, I guess that makes you my Sandy then :)"

Then he tried telling me I was Aang from Avatar - at which, I deer god'd, and then he said I was like Ty Lee or whoever. But then when I said I was compared to Toph, he kind of saw the light on that.

Needless to say that I had fun - totally worth not watching Glee or New Girl. Hopefully, my parents have it saved on the DVR still when I go home after tomorrow/later day, because I'm hanging out with him again and we're apparently doing something I've never done before. When he told me that, I said, "how the fuck do you know what I have or haven't done before?" Of course, I said it in a voice, and not entirely serious!! I tried guessing, but he tried to play cool about it.

He also walked me to my door, which is literally two steps away from the parking lot, but still. Cute gesture = major brownie points... as if he didn't have enough.

Sidenote: he also really likes my hair, even though it's a cross between Hermione and a cocker spaniel.