Awkward = trying to find these pictures while Roommate's family walks past my door at random

No, that's not me in the picture, but after reading this, everything will make sense.. sort of.

Apparently there's a model for Maxim whose name is Jessica Marie, which just so happens to be my combination of first and middle name.

I was also told from a young age that a Miami Dolphins cheerleader was named Jessica C, which I think was a falsehood... but after learning this, anything could be possible.

I'm disturbed by this, because apparently she models in Florida and she's 22, which is around my age. She looks nothing like me, since I, ya know, try to avoid being near railroad tracks with only a jacket to cover my bra while my underwear clad butt faces the camera.

I discovered this by creeping on Facebook, which BY THE WAY, I missed doing so very dearly. One of my friends, acquaintances in reality, liked a link called "Jessica Marie". My "creep" senses were tingling and I breathed a sigh of relief when I realized it wasn't a Facebook page dedicated to me.

After the relief, set in jealousy. Why ISN'T there a Facebook page dedicated to me? I'm awesome and have decent morals. I have my moments of brilliance, but I'm not being praised all over Facebook like this poser, Jessica Marie, is!

This is all leading to one realization: POSE FOR MAXIM AND BECOME MORE FAMOUS THAN JESSICA MARIE.

It'll be brilliant. I'll work my way up to the big time by posting my pictures on Youtube with some sexy dance beat playing. It will go viral and soon everyone will be demanding for more JCesped pics. (I'm still working up the name in my head. Grass Assassin seems too "in your face" if you sit and think about it. I mean, that name has the word ass in it three times.. then again, I have to work with what I got). I will then supply the adoring masses with more and more pictures until I am such a superstar that my mere presence sends everyone into fits of overwhelming pleasure.

It is what legends are made from. This is where it starts. For me, it all started with Jessica Marie & you can quote me on that.

I SHALL SEE YOU ALL AT THE TOP :]