<3

Following Ashley's example!

ISFJ

ISFJs are characterized above all by their desire to serve others, their "need to be needed." In extreme cases, this need is so strong that standard give-and-take relationships are deeply unsatisfying to them; however, most ISFJs find more than enough with which to occupy themselves within the framework of a normal life. (Since ISFJs, like all SJs, are very much bound by the prevailing social conventions, their form of "service" is likely to exclude any elements of moral or political controversy; they specialize in the local, the personal, and the practical.)

ISFJs are often unappreciated, at work, home, and play. Ironically, because they prove over and over that they can be relied on for their loyalty and unstinting, high-quality work, those around them often take them for granted--even take advantage of them. Admittedly, the problem is sometimes aggravated by the ISFJs themselves; for instance, they are notoriously bad at delegating ("If you want it done right, do it yourself"). And although they're hurt by being treated like doormats, they are often unwilling to toot their own horns about their accomplishments because they feel that although they deserve more credit than they're getting, it's somehow wrong to want any sort of reward for doing work (which is supposed to be a virtue in itself). (And as low-profile Is, their actions don't call attention to themselves as with charismatic Es.) Because of all of this, ISFJs are often overworked, and as a result may suffer from psychosomatic illnesses.

In the workplace, ISFJs are methodical and accurate workers, often with very good memories and unexpected analytic abilities; they are also good with people in small-group or one-on-one situations because of their patient and genuinely sympathetic approach to dealing with others. ISFJs make pleasant and reliable co-workers and exemplary employees, but tend to be harried and uncomfortable in supervisory roles. They are capable of forming strong loyalties, but these are personal rather than institutional loyalties; if someone they've bonded with in this way leaves the company, the ISFJ will leave with them, if given the option. Traditional careers for an ISFJ include: teaching, social work, most religious work, nursing, medicine (general practice only), clerical and and secretarial work of any kind, and some kinds of administrative careers.

While their work ethic is high on the ISFJ priority list, their families are the centers of their lives. ISFJs are extremely warm and demonstrative within the family circle--and often possessive of their loved ones, as well. When these include Es who want to socialize with the rest of the world, or self-contained ITs, the ISFJ must learn to adjust to these behaviors and not interpret them as rejection. Being SJs, they place a strong emphasis on conventional behavior (although, unlike STJs, they are usually as concerned with being "nice" as with strict propriety); if any of their nearest and dearest depart from the straight-and-narrow, it causes the ISFJ major embarrassment: the closer the relationship and the more public the act, the more intense the embarrassment (a fact which many of their teenage children take gleeful advantage of). Over time, however, ISFJs usually mellow, and learn to regard the culprits as harmless eccentrics :-). Needless to say, ISFJs take infinite trouble over meals, gifts, celebrations, etc., for their loved ones--although strong Js may tend to focus more on what the recipient should want rather than what they do want.

Like most Is, ISFJs have a few, close friends. They are extremely loyal to these, and are ready to provide emotional and practical support at a moment's notice. (However, like most Fs they hate confrontation; if you get into a fight, don't expect them to jump in after you. You can count on them, however, run and get the nearest authority figure.) Unlike with EPs, the older the friendship is, the more an ISFJ will value it. One ISFJ trait that is easily misunderstood by those who haven't known them long is that they are often unable to either hide or articulate any distress they may be feeling. For instance, an ISFJ child may be reproved for "sulking," the actual cause of which is a combination of physical illness plus misguided "good manners." An adult ISFJ may drive a (later ashamed) friend or SO into a fit of temper over the ISFJ's unexplained moodiness, only afterwards to explain about a death in the family they "didn't want to burden anyone with." Those close to ISFJs should learn to watch for the warning signs in these situations and take the initiative themselves to uncover the problem.

Lord love a duck - this test read my heart, the SO portion especially. I suck at saying what's on my mind.

Fictional ISFJ's include Ophelia from Hamlet & Bianca from Taming of the Shrew & Dr. Watson from Sherlock Holmes :D

So I've almost had all of my classes, except for Pathophysiology tomorrow and then my subsequent labs for Health Assessment & Foundations of Nursing, but I'm gonna be honest...

despite feeling COMPLETELY overwhelmed, which ebbs and flows on the severity with which I flip, I'm kind of feeling.. dare I say.. confident that I'll be okay.

Granted, I have to have an average of at least 78% in all 5 of my classes to even be able to pass (no exaggeration - if I don't have a 78% test average, even if I did outstanding in the other aspects of the class, they will count that as a failed attempt). Granted, that I'll have to take a bajillion tests and all my final exams will be cumulative. Granted, I'll be bathing people & God only knows what else, because I can't just skip all this to get to what I want to do. Granted, my days basically all start at 8 in the morning and I'll have little to no social life once the ball starts rolling.

Despite ALL OF THAT, I feel like it's manageable... which might mean that I'll fail, because usually if you're confident, that's when you do poorly. I don't really have a back up plan if Nursing doesn't work out, so I'm kind of tempted to drop one of my classes, but then I'll be pushed back a lot, because these 5 are necessary to even attempt hospital work/clinicals. Apparently, I have to take two summer classes involving Nursing.. like it's a legitimate requirement. Goodbye, summer 2012. If the world ends, I'll have summer 2011 to look back on fondly.

Maybe it's because Pharmacology today seemed pretty interesting.. then again, I did kind of start almost dozing off during that last hour, but I think I can manage. I hope I can. I'd hate to get this far just to end up falling on my face when I'm finally almost sure of myself & my abilities.

Here's to studying during my free time (and tumblring and facebooking when I please) and going through money like it's no object. These silly classes all have Powerpoints and I wish to succeed, so I print them all.

By the way, an 84 in Nursing? That's considered a C to FGCU. #lolth

Let's go!

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU has never been more applicable

Have my posts always shown up in italics or is this computer REALLY weird?

This is a post just to show that I'm alive and living at WLV aka College Club. I'm also dealing with innumerable stress, because I found out I only have books for 2 of my classes.. ish.

It's such a long and complicated story that it almost dampens the good day that I had.

I don't understand how I have 7 books for only ONE class.

Yeah, Nursing is some serious shit, but SEVEN?

This can only mean that this class is the creation of Voldemort and his 8th final horcrux is my soul, because this class seems like it will kill me. It's not even supposed to be hard, so WHY are there seven legitimate text books? My backpack can't even fit all of them and I have more than one class that day. WHAT EVEN IS, FGCU?

First, you give me a room with mysterious stains on the floor, a lightswitch that controls nothing because I don't even have a light fixture, a wall with a phone number on it and random staples semi-stapled to the walls, but now you're telling me that my books are inadequate 2 days before my classes start?

It doesn't help that you expect me to read 4+ chapters, extraneous video demonstrations, and whatever other nonsense you're spewing, before my classes on Monday. It doesn't help that I have classes every day of the week, because you stole my two days off from me. It doesn't help that I have 8am classes 60% of the time.

I just don't understand. I'm taking today to just chill in my cold-ass dorm, maybe I'll watch a Miyazaki movie to cheer up, maybe I'll take a nap.. it really does not matter to me. I hope that tomorrow is a better day, even though I'll most likely be going to the bookstore to carry my weight in books, which will thus make me late to Doctor Who day with Watson.

PSA

I'm not perfect.

I like manga and anime to the point that I will flail, fangirl, cry, laugh, and get incredibly angry due to the smallest interruptions or the slightest obstacle for the main characters. More often than not, I will experience all of those emotions within a span of a chapter or a couple of episodes. I get attached to these two dimensional characters as if they were my friends and I love and respect all of my favorites so much.

I like Harry Potter. I'm beta testing right now for the new site. Am I any good? Not really, but it's something I enjoy. I'm looking forward to being able to play with my friends, because playing by myself isn't as much fun as I would expect it to be, since it's a friend-centric game.

I have my good days and my bad days. On my good days, I'll laugh at anything and have the biggest smile on my face, which makes my eyes get all small and my face gets super wrinkly. I look forward to being able to show off my facial wrinkles when I'm older, because it'll show that I lived a happy life. On my bad days, I'll still be happy, but something's off. I try to put a brave face, because I would hate knowing I'd ruin someone's day, which is often how I feel if I confide in anybody, so I just bottle it up or vent. Sometimes I vent poorly, whether it's through harsh words or through shutting down completely, but I have my dad's bad temper and my mom's passive aggressive tendencies. It's not a pretty combination, but I'm usually laid-back. If I ever get angry, it's safe to say that you might want to reconcile quickly.

Sometimes, I hold grudges. Often, I hold onto the negative memories I have with people. I wish positive memories could be enough for me to get by, but for some people, it's something I cannot do. I know it isn't fair to hold onto the past actions of others, but I guess I just never got closure on it. If I can't understand why you would do something like that, chances are I won't get over it, even if you want me to.

I get insecure and I have days where I'm so confident that I'd catch a celebrity's attention when I walk down the street. In a good way, of course :P

I walk a fine line between reality and fantasy. I'd rather not have to deal with the consequences of my choices. I'd rather stay a kid, where the internet is forever and nothing hurts, where imagination and desire is all you need in life to get anywhere, where people are trustworthy and never leave over silly reasons. Unfortunately, I know I can't be a kid, so I'm constantly torn between what I want to do vs what I have to do. I always wonder why they can't be one in the same and when exactly we were told that what we want isn't good enough.

I use music to express myself, because sometimes my words just won't give a situation justice. Going along with that, music makes me emotional. If a sad movie is accompanied with great music, I'll be a mess.

I cry easily. I'd like to say I'm stronger than that, but I'm secretly a cry-baby. If I'm stressed out and you try to give me criticism for my choices, I'll cry. I'm certainly a tricksy slope when it comes to criticism as is. If I make a decision, it's like I need approval for it, otherwise I feel like I made a poor choice, so I usually don't do anything too crazy.

Sometimes I feel like I haven't fully lived, because I haven't done anything crazy. In comparison to my brother, I haven't accomplished much nor do I have the amount of close friends as he has and I feel like I have to be on the same level as he is.

Sometimes I don't think I deserve the friends I have, but I know they are NOT the type of people who would put up with me as often as they do if they didn't like me or enjoy my company. Sometimes, this is the only thing that gets me through my day. My friends show such kindness to me and I feel like I become a better/stronger person by having them in my life.

That's just a brief snippet of something that I've typed or said or thought at least 100 times over, but I'm writing this now, because even though I'm not perfect by any means, nor am I the girl who's blessed with the knowledge of how to dress well everyday or do her hair in a normal pretty fashion, I'm still deserving of happiness. I can't wait for the day when I meet someone who sees all my "horrible" qualities and finds them endearing and loves me despite them; I hope that when I find this guy, I can love him back.

That is all ♥

I wish I could always be rational.

Tomorrow, get here immediately.

This time next week I will be adjusting to the solitary life at FGCU. Well, as solitary as it gets with 2 new roommates, but I have my own room, closet, bathroom, so I might as well be alone.

In the meantime, I will be celebrating Doctor Who with my dad and also Watson & Ashley; I'll be watching Miyazaki movies with them; I'll be chilling with the cats at Petco; I'll be repacking my clothes & donating old clothes; I'll be mentally preparing for the intensity that is Nursing school; I'll be looking forward to Glee S3; I'll be going crazy over Utapri; I'll be TUMBLING; I'll just be doing me, which if you haven't noticed, is pretty fan-freaking-tastic.

In a nut shell, it's gonna be an exciting week/rest of the year. 2011 is by far my best year - even with the lows, which there have been many, I can't even complain. The highs definitely outweigh everything else <3

I might also get a webcam, but I'm still unsure of whether or not to even cross into that territory. My computer is already so weird that I feel like adding that would send it into hysteria.

Fuck you, it's my birthday :D

Random Update

• I'm 2 shows away from finishing this heart-wrenching series & I'm prolonging it, because I KNOW it's going to crush my soul into tiny pieces, but I'm gonna finish it, because I hate myself.
• I do this to myself sometimes, because I think I'm a glutton for punishment. Sometimes, I really hate it. Especially now since..
• IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TOMORROW :D
• By tomorrow, I mean the 9th. If you didn't have a FB or don't have me as a friend on there. If you're not friends with me, then this is awkward.
• I celebrated my psuedo-birthday with my parents today by having my presents hidden around the house through means of a scavenger hunt.
• After the heart-felt moment, they decided to partake/ruin the things that I love with their commentary or their pessimistic views on love. Speaking of which...
  
• I watched a THOROUGHLY depressing/beautiful movie and now feel like I have to re-evaluate my life.
• I know I have a Disney convoluted image of romance, but your "realism" is not what I want ever, because not everything in the world sucks & something like love shouldn't suck all the time.
  
• I am going to be saying goodbye to my best friend today at 5pm, but I fortunately get to spend the next 3 days with him, so it's not really goodbye.
• Not yet anyway :C
• I discovered that I am a chaotic neutral character.
• I am awaiting my Pottermore Welcome letter, which probably will never come, because JK only knows when this site will be open to those early registrants...
• Sometimes I imagine AU situations that could potentially happen in my life & I actually get disappointed when they don't. Primal example? On the 10th. I've had this image in my mind of how an event will go, but I can almost guarantee it won't. Life never works out how I imagine it to go.
• I can't believe I'm going to be 20. It's really surreal.

I don't even know why I'm blogging.